Stay With Me, Until I Fall Asleep
by le error
Summary: [Based on the 2012 Series] Donatello is seriously injured and it's more than his body that gets damaged. Raphael blames himself and tries everything he can to help his brother. Leo is in denial and Mikey suddenly takes on the role as big brother. Contains some serious whump and brother to brother bonding. COMPLETED
1. You Didn't Know

_A/N: This turned out to be A LOT longer than I thought it would be. It's literately 30 pages. I couldn't stop writing it. So I trimmed it down into chapters instead. This stories does have mild descriptions of blood and injury and that's about it._

"Are you sure this is where-"

"Will you stop asking me!"

"Sorry sorry..geez just wanted to make sure.."

Raphael and Donatello waited patiently (sort of ) on the rooftop for their mysterious crooks to appear. They had been waiting for only half an hour and no activity presented itself. However, Raphael didn't have a doubt in his mind that this was the place where the thieves had ran off to. Luckily, Donnie was by his side to make sure that the red turtle didn't do anything too rash. For all they knew they could be holding weapons. Better to be safe. Don, however, wasn't the one that spotted the criminals but he didn't say that he didn't believe his brother.

"Look!" Raphael loudly whispered with a small grin. Donatello turned to Raphael's side to see a back door from the ally way swing open. It made a loud bang, shaking from impact. Don watched as a man suddenly shot into the open and landed on his face into the unforgiving ground. The man made a small yelp in pain and quickly turned on his back facing whatever was back inside the building with fear. Two men appeared this time, laughing hysterically with smug faces.

"Please!" The man on the ground begged. From the corner of his vision, Don saw Raphael ready his weapons with anticipation. Don grabbed his bo.

"Listen I don't really care, Higgin', you ain't got ma' money so why should'a care?" One of the men pulled the flap of his jacket back to grab a gun that was tucked into his pant line. He pointed the weapon at the other which made the victim whimpered and cover his face. The other watched on with a grin.

"Please! Give me more time! I just need more tim-"

"Yeah yeah I heard that befo-Ahh!"

Raphael struck first, landing in front of the man wielding the firearm and trapping his wrist with one of his sais. The man tried pulling back in fear but ended up dislocating his shoulder. Raph jerked his arm down painfully making him release the weapon then sent the guy flying with a quick kick to the face. Donatello twirled his bo in front of the other crook, watching as the man coward backwards trying to gain distance away from Don. The purple turtle smiled, making little false movements at advancing which made the human yell out.

"Oh come on, I haven't even hit you yet," Donatello teased, "Be lucky you aren't that guy," He motioned his head towards where the other crook and Raphael were. Raphael was beating whatever sense the man had left into the ground. The man in front of Don had an expression of pure terror as he looked where he directed then back towards Donatello. Before he even had a chance to blink, Don swung his bo into the side of his face. He did a quick 360 then struck again this time at the side of his knees to buckle him then to his chest. The man fell back and curled himself into a ball.

"No more! Please no more!" he cried out. Donatello ceased his attack but still pointed his weapon to the human just for added measure.

Raphael roughly tossed his opponent into the wall, shining his weapon towards his face and the man stopped moving.

"Not so tough are ya now, huh?" Raph said with a large grin.

"Raph," Don shouted. The red turtle turned with a sigh.

"Just lemme go, man..uh..lizard.-"

"I hate when they get it wrong!" Raphael growled into the man's face making him scream. Donatello shook his head, glancing over to the fallen man on the ground to make sure didn't make any movements. Suddenly, a screech of rubber against pavement caught everyone's attention. The victim on the ground had already fled back into the building. Locking the doors behind him and Donatello had no doubt to call the authorities as well.

"What was th-" Donatello felt his feet be swept underneath him making him fall on his face. He grunted, trying to get up but found a heavy foot stomping onto his shell.

"Stay down, ya creep!" the man shouted with fear still laced in his tone.

"Get off him!" Raphael shouted angrily, he let the man go and darted towards the other to help his brother. Raphael knocked the man to the ground, knocking the wind out of the crook as he landed into a pile of rubbish.

"Be more careful," Raphael hoisted his brother to his feet. Just as Don stood he spotted the man Raphael was holding charging towards Raph with a small knife. The man jabbed his knife at Raphael's shell but the blade didn't even make a scratch. Raph made a small grunt and twisted around to grab the man. Blind with rage, he didn't even see the sudden appearance of a large van in front of the ally way entrance. Raphael pinned the man on the ground, punching him in the face then grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Growing a back bone finally? Let's fix that!"

"Raphael!"

His brother's voice was drowned with the sound of a engine roaring and tires screaming against the ground. The man easily spotted the vehicle with bugged eyes. It was heading straight for him. The van charged at an alarming speed. Without thinking, Donatello sprinted towards Raphael, to save his brother.

"Raph!" Donatello shouted at the top of his lungs. Raphael turned angrily towards Don but soon realized his situation. He was like a deer in headlights, completely dazed at the scene and at what to do. The van was close from ramming into Raphael. Donatello did the only thing he could do. He shoved his brother and the human out of the way with all of his strength.

Raphael lost his grip of the human, instead, placed his arms out in front of him as he was pushed into a pile of rubbish and bins. Raphael laid in the pile trying to get his heartbeat to a normal pace. It was forgotten once he heard a disturbing noise that sounded like wet bone and meat slapping into the wall. The next thing he heard was the sound of struggling tires going nowhere and a pain filled scream.

_Donny!_

Raphael flung the bins away from him, trying to get rid of all the debris around him. Once he managed, he rolled away from the pile and onto the ground. Just as he looked up he saw his brother's bloodied form slump down. Raphael felt his whole body run cold at the sight.

Suddenly, the van appeared in his vision but to his horror it charged forward. It rammed straight into Donatello again.

"No!" Raphael shouted. Oh god, his brother was dead..right in front of his eyes..they crushed his head..

Raphael bolted straight for the van in an attempt to stop it. He climbed onto the side and broke the glass with his fist. His hand went straight for the throat of the human, clenching tightly with the intention to break it. The van backed away from the wall and rammed into the other side of the wall. Raphael felt himself lose his footing and, to his surprise, accidentally broke the neck of the driver. Raphael could feel the awkward angle that he had position the neck and already knew what he had done. He immediately let go and let himself fall on his bottom. The van stopped moving.

Raphael let out an exhale, his body shaking from what had happened. He quickly pushed it to the side and focused on his brother. He stood and made his way towards Donatello. There was to much blood everywhere, the way his brother's body laid made him look like a dummy and..and the blood.

Raphael tried his best to ignore the crimson and knelt beside Donatello, "Donny..oh god..no," Raphael carefully placed his hand over Don's mangled shoulder and turned him so that he laid on his shell. His brother's eyes were closed in pain, his mouth open to breath..breath..he was still breathing!

"Donny!" Raphael could see the sharp inhales and exhales, his bloodied plastron rising and falling. Don let out a pained yelp as he struggled to breath but it was becoming to painful.

"Hang on, bro. I-I got ya" Raphael could hear the faint sounds of sirens from the distance which was their cue to bolt. He needed to bring his brother away before they were spotted. Raphael looked at Don's broken body and was scared to even place his hand on Don's plastron. Donatello's breathing was violent now, blood spilling out from his brother's mouth like a small fountain and no doubt making it difficult. Raphael gently lifted his brother's head to put his arm underneath him. It turned out to be a big mistake.

Donatello screamed. Raphael never heard his quiet brother let out such a bloodcurdling noise. Raphael felt hot tears run down his face. He was hurting him.

"Donny! Donny! I'm so sorry," Raphael begged for his brother's forgiveness as he ignored his screams. He put his other arm underneath Don's knees where he felt a bone protrude abnormally. He lifted him slowly off the ground making a horrifying mental note of how much blood was collecting on him and his brother.

"R-Raph'el!"

"Shhh I got'cha," Raphael held onto his brother tightly as he ran as fast as he could further into the ally to the closet manhole. He didn't care where the thing led just as long as they were out of sight. He could feel Donny lean more into him, trying to muffle his pain into Raph's chest.

Raphael soon found a cover that was actually in a familiar location. It wouldn't be to far to reach the lair from there. The hard part was trying to get his brother through without harming him further.

"Donny, you have to get on my back," Raphael told his brother. Don opened his eyes enough to see his brother and nodded. He knew he wouldn't have the strength to latch onto him so it would be up to Raph to hold him. Raph quickly and carefully placed Don into a sitting position on the ground. Don's body was practically convulsing from the pain but his brother was strong to hold in even a grunt of agony. Raphael turned so that Don could at least lean against his shell which he did with difficulty. His entire chest and lower abdomen were on fire from the movement. Donatello felt like he was going to faint it was so unbelievably painful. He felt Raphael grab his arms and wrap them around his neck then slowly stood.

"Ra-Raaph stop!" Donatello was engulfed in a blazing white fire as his arms were bent in a regular yet painful position. Both his arms were broken.

"I'm sorry, Don." Raphael apologized. He used one hand to hang onto both of Don's arms that were around his neck. The other he helped Don stay up by grabbing the bottle of his shell. Don's legs were useless and dangling at the side of him. Was it because it was too much or he couldn't move them at all? Raphael couldn't think about that right now. Donatello was trembling and muttering for him to drop him and just leave him. Raphael had already pulled the cover off and made his way down with his brother clinging onto him for dear life.

Xx

x

"Give it up, dude I'm already a head by 20 points."

"Not a chance, Mikey, I can still catch up."

The two brothers glared at one another playfully as they pushed bottoms rapidly to out do one another. Mikey and Leo glued their eyes to the screen below them, concentrating the quick moving space aliens that marched onto each of their screens.

"No! No!" Mikey cried out once he noticed Leo's quick change in score. Leo laughed in triumph as he continued to gain the upper hand in the game. Suddenly, one of the aliens swooped down and collided with Leo's ship ending his final life.

"What!" Leo cried out, slapping his hands at the sides of the arcade game.

"That's what I'm talking about baby!" Mikey raised his fist into the air in victory, "Michelangelo wins again! No surprise there."

Leo raised a brow, "Yeah, and winner gets to do the dishes tonight." He added with a small smile. Mikey froze at the realization that today was indeed his turn to clean dishes. He lowered his arm and hung his shoulders down.

"Ughh," Mikey grunted and flopped down onto the sofa. Leo chuckled and joined his brother on the other end of the sofa. His brothers should have been back by now from their patrol. Leo tried desperately not to linger on it because it would cause him to worry. Donatello was more than capable to handle himself it was Raphael-

"Leo!"

The two turtles whipped there heads at the sound of the red clad turtle's cry. Raphael wasn't in their line of vision making him believe that Raphael was only shouting out of anger. Probably to rant on how Donny slowed him down or something. Typical. Leo sighed, "What is it, Raph?" He turned back to the television and waited for the response. Mikey was the one who startled him. Mikey made a small gasp before jumping over the sofa to dart towards Raphael and Donatello. Oh god..Donny..

"Help me!" Raphael cried out again. Mikey dashed to Raphael and nearly tripped over him. Raphael was kneeling on the ground with Donny in his arms. All he could hear was the sound of the two panting heavily and Donatello's soft cries of pain. Leonardo rushed to joined him and his attention quickly darted to the second youngest. Donny's body was covered in blood from head to toe but Leo could see the deep wounds that etched themselves into Don's flesh. His entire plastron was torn, the lower half was even missing reveling tissue and muscle underneath. Blood was oozing from the wounds covering it along with dirt and sweat. Raphael was holding him high enough to allow Donatello to breath through the accumulation of blood that built in his throat. There were several large cuts across Don's face maybe more if there wasn't so much blood. Blood...right he needed to focus.

"What happened?" Leo demanded from his brother. Raphael was shaking badly, his arms shook as he held his injured brother and remained silent.

"Raphael!" Leo shouted in his face to bring him back from his trance. Raphael snapped his head towards Leo his eyes on him as if he just realized the blue turtle was right there all along. "What happened?" Leo's voice started to quiver.

"Help him, Leo!" Raphael held Don close to his body but kept in mind of his brother's state, "Christ, ...he's bleeding everywhere.."

"Mikey! Get Master Splinter! Hurry!" Leo barked to the youngest who shot up and raced to find their father. Leo turned back to Donny hovering his hands over his body unsure where to touch him. Donny's was coughing and choking, grabbing the tail of Raphael's mask weakly to lift himself up. Raphael obeyed and lifted him up so that the blood oozed out the corner of his mouth.

"Bring him to the couch," Leo said, "Raph!"

"I heard you!" Raphael growled back. Leo couldn't feel the way Donny's broken body felt, he didn't see the amount of blood that trailed him when he brought Don here. He needed to be cautious. Raphael gently lifted Donny into his arms and as he did Donatello gasped in distress. Leo hurried to his side, placing his hands underneath Don to help and led them into the lair.

"Leonardo."

Master Splinter appeared besides them in a second and brushed Leo aside so that he could see Donatello. Raphael looked up to see his father's face as he saw Don's broken body. His heart clenched tightly inside him he never seen Splinter look so sad. Splinter quickly took Donatello from Raphael's arms and turned towards the lair. Leo watched as they disappeared before turning back to Raph. Raphael was staring down at his hands and plastron. He was covered in blood. He was covered in Donatello's blood. Leo could see Raphael's eyes grow large in realization of just how much had gotten on him. How much his brother actually lost because of him. It was all his fault. Donny saved him and got hurt. It should have been him. It should have been him instead..

"Raphael, let me clean you up." Leonardo grabbed Raph's arm, trying to ignore bloodied appendage and pulled the red turtle for him to follow. Raphael yanked back his arm looking fearful.

"Donny-"

"He'll be okay, Master Splinter is going to help him." Leo reassured him. However, he wasn't even sure himself. Leo lightly pulled Raphael till his brother complied. Leo could feel Raphael tremble in his hand and the ill muttering and conversation his brother held with nobody. Leo couldn't make out the entire thing but he did hear the endless whispers of apologizes. Leo hurried Raphael into the bathroom and sat him down into the tub. Raphael was silent as Leo turned on the water and removed his mask. Raphael shivered as the cold water hit him but relaxed once the warm water started to settle in. Leo grab a towel from the sink and soaked it.

"Close your eyes," Leo said. Raphael obeyed and allowed Leo to wash his face that had little blood. He scrubbed Raphael's neck and shoulders before moving towards the blood on his chest.

"Is he okay?" Raphael asked Leo.

"I dunno," Leo admitted. He wanted to go see how his brother was doing, how serious his injuries were but right now he needed to take care of Raphael. Splinter and Mikey were taking care of Donny. The tub turned as red as Raphael's mask once Leo finished cleaning his plastron and shell. Leo grabbed a small metal bucket, that they often used for dumping out the bath water, and filled it with clean water from the sink.

"Stand up," Leo told Raphael as he filled the bucket with warm water. Raphael obeyed, his body still shaking but he was clean. Leo saw that Raphael only had a few bruises and cuts on his shoulders and arms but had no serious wounds himself. Once the bucket was filled Leo went back to Raphael and dumped the clean water on top of his head. Raphael gasped at the sudden sensation and shook himself to get rid of the water.

"Guys.." Mikey appeared in front of the doorway, leaning against the frame with a sadden expression.

"Is he okay?" Leo asked him.

"Splinter is fixing his wounds but..but he said there was a lot much internal damage" Mikey answered, his eyes stared down as they gathered tears.

"Mikey, he isn't-"

"No." Mikey nearly shouted to them both. Mikey covered his face with his hands and cried. Leo went to the young turtle and wrapped his arms around him. Trying to comfort him as he sobbed. Raphael sat on the bathroom floor and brought his knees up to rest his elbows.

It was all his fault...

xx

x

Splinter had refused to allow the boys to see their brother till he had gave the ok. He did update them on his condition which didn't put them at any sort of ease. Both of Donny's arms were broken including his clavicle and several ribs. His right leg was fractured and his pelvis and possibly his lower spinal area was damaged. The list felt like it went on forever; a punctured lung, massive internal bleeding, his entire chest was partly caved and the lower half of his plastron was missing. Splinter had told them that he was cleaning and treating Donatello's wounds on the outside but he couldn't begin to understand how to help him internally. Mikey assisted only because he remembered Donny teaching him the medical equipment that they had gathered together. It wasn't much but he did help place a breathing tube down his brother's throat after they cleared his lungs. Leo kicked himself for taking any time to learn any of it so that he could help. He felt useless just sitting and praying to anyone who would listen to his pleads for help. Raphael was restless and sat quietly outside of the room where Splinter worked without break. It had been 13 hours since Raphael dragged Donatello back. He was scared. Raphael admitted that he was terrified if the last thing he would ever hear from his brother were his pained cries and scream.

Leo let Mikey rest next to him on the couch. The youngest tucked himself close to his brother, wrapping his arms around him tightly to make sure he would remain. Mikey had taken off his mask while he was helping Splinter, this allowed Leo to see Mikey's tear stains that stretched down to his chin. He was sleeping peacefully from his exhausting efforts to help keep his brother alive so Leo let him use him as a pillow.

Raphael soon gave in and laid down on the floor besides Leo and Mikey. Just as the red turtle was getting comfortable the door to Donny's room opened. Raphael shot upright in an instant.

"Sensei?"

Splinter stepped out of the room and softly closed the door behind him. He looked tired.

"He is resting now. I fear it is still to soon to know if-"

"If he'll make it." Leo finished grimly. Splinter lowered his ears and nodded.

"Can I see him?" Raphael asked as he stood and walked a few steps towards his father.

"Yes, you may. I fear there is nothing more I can do and I am in need of rest."

"I'll watch him, sensei," Raphael insisted. Leo frowned.

Splinter nodded and gave his son a small but fragile smile. He placed his paw on Raphael's shoulder then turned towards room leaving him to watch over Don.

"Raph," Leo remained where he was, trapped in Mikey's hold and unable to get up.

"Don't worry." Raphael uttered. Leo relaxed back into the couch with his exhausted sibling. Leo listened to the sound of the door opening and closing again then silence. He knew Raphael could handle watching their brother but he was still uneasy. Leo nestled closer to Mikey, closing his eyes and tried to get some sleep.

The first thing he noticed was the overwhelming smell of antiseptic. He also smelled the familiar scent of what Raph could best describe as a forest after heavy rain. Raphael recognized the smell because it was the herb that Splinter burned whenever one of them became sick or hurt. The realization of the fact settled into Raphael's stomach till it became an uncomfortable pain.

Donny laid still, unmoving yet the raise and fall of his battered chest put Raphael at some what of an ease.

Till he saw the breathing tube.

Bandages were wrapped around his head, entire chest and several around his legs. His arms were wrapped in large casings of gauze and large towels settled underneath them. There was a thin blanket over his body that covered everything but his arms and upper chest. Even with all these bandages Raphael could still see the horrid condition underneath from his sickly faded skin.

Raphael grabbed a stepping stool that was at the corner of the room. He noticed the medicines and herbs that were on Don's desk along with his clutter of other science things and or tech. Raphael placed the stool besides Donny's bedside careful to not knock anything over. He noticed a small and broken looking machine that was being held together with spare parts and rust. It seemed to be running, a small clip connected to Donny's finger which Raphael guessed was to monitor his heart.

"I'm guessing you put that together," Raphael said out loud and snorted. "You're a real geek, ya know that?" he looked down at his brother expecting him to reply or retort. Raphael sighed, placing his hand gently over an unbandaged part of Donny's bicep.

"I'm so sorry, Don." Raphael placed his elbow on the corner of the bed and rested his head into his palm. The memory of seeing his brother being crushed was playing in his mind. Watching him being slammed into the wall when it should have been him. He was too caught up in his anger like always. He hated himself more than ever. His brother was struggling to breath in front of him while he remained unscratched.

"Damn it, Donny," Raphael closed his eyes, feeling tears cloud his vision and guilt wreck his very soul. Raphael abandoned his position to lay his head next to Donny's arm. Being extra cautious not to bump into it or even skim it. Raphael opened his eyes to watch his brother's respiration, catching on to the broken rhythm before drifting off the sleep.

Xx

x

Raphael jerked awake, cursing himself for falling asleep when he should have been watching his little brother. Donny was still breathing, still alive...

Raphael cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders from the awkward position he slept in. He checked the machine and noticed that his heart beat was more active. He didn't really know how to read the damn thing which quickly brought on the thought of bringing Leo and Mikey in the room to see him. Raphael stood up and stretched, taking a few glances at his brother before he noticed Don's eyes suddenly snap open.

"Donny," Raphael tried getting his attention but Don tightly closed his eyes as if he was trying to hold something back. Raphael could tell that he was pain. The pace in his respiration quicken to the point where Raph thought Don was having trouble. He began making unintelligent noises through the breathing tube and moans.

"Don, that has to be there," Raphael pleaded with his brother who attempted to lift his arms to remove the thing himself. Raphael saw the the tube bend between his teeth in pain at his action. "Donny, stop!" Raphael growled. At this rate, the idiot was going to hurt himself more. However, the purple turtle kept trying to pull the thing out himself. He couldn't even move his fingers properly because his right hand was completely broken and unresponsive. Raphael brought Don's arm back onto the towel to rest.

"God damn it, Don," Raphael lifted Donatello's head up a little to remove the pillow underneath him. He disconnected the oxygen tank from the tube and tilt his head up a little. Don was shaking from the amount of pain that was coursing through his body but he tried his best to keep still for Raph. As carefully as he could he slipped the tube out from his mouth. Don wasn't the best patient as he jerked his head a little from the discomfort and made whimpering and grunts that briefly closed his throat.

Once the tube was completely gone, Raphael lifted Don a little for him to cough and regain his own breathing himself. He struggled with more difficulty than Raph would have thought. Blood spilled out from his mouth during his fit and Raphael quickly rushed to grab the blanket to catch it. Once his breathing caught up with him he vomited foam and a large amount of saliva all over himself.

"It's okay, let it out." Raphael encouraged him. Don felt his eyes water in agony as Raphael wiped his mouth with the ruined blanket and plastron.

"You're okay now." Raphael placed Don back onto the bed. "I'm going to get you water."

"H'rrr'st." Donatello spoke, struggling to communicate through a dry mouth.

"Don't talk, okay? I know I'm gonna get you some water just wait." Raphael grabbed the small tea cup that was on the coffee table and poured clean water from the kettle.

"'apphh."

"Donny, stop it." Raphael snapped. He collected the familiar herb from the table and soaked it into the water. He hurried towards Don again and placed the plant near his brother's mouth. Don turned his head in displeasure.

"Open, it'll help for the pain," Raphael said. Don reluctantly put the plant in his mouth, keeping it on his tongue. Raphael lifted Don again and placed the cup to his mouth. Don drunk the water without hesitation, he cough roughly once the planet rubbed against his raw throat and into his system. Donatello gasped for air, feeling as if his chest was slowing collapsing in on itself. He couldn't even think straight from all the pain that his body was emitting. Raphael set him down and put the cup onto the table.

"Don't move anymore you're gonna reopen all your wounds," Raphael begged his sibling. Donatello breathing changed to quick sharp pants and his heart still rapidly pounding against his broken chest. After a few minutes, Donny relaxed due to the affects of the plant but his eyes were still restless.

Raphael listened as Donatello began making a whining noise that was similar to a hurt or scared animal. His eyes darted towards Raphael before turning his head slightly towards the door.

"'keey."

"What?" Raphael looked over to the door with confusion. Why would he want a key? Donny spoke again moving his mouth more to sound clear.

"Mmmm'key." Donny said again.

"Mikey? Y-you want me to get Mikey? Don, just say his name right. Do you need more water?"

Don made a grunt noise, closing his eyes tightly as if in deep thought before opening them and turning back to Raph.

"A...ahh-" Don attempted to speak again but instead made an animalistic growl in frustration. He returned to panting, pain still etched on his face and sadness. Raphael placed his head over his brother's head and immediately felt what seemed like a dent in Don's skull. The sudden memory of the car slamming into Donatello's skull played in his mind. His...his brother was damaged..His brilliant mind was now useless.

It was his fault.

"Damn it..damn it.." Raphael tenderly brushed his finger over the rest of Don's head. Feeling the abnormal bumps and dips in the front of his head and careful not to skim over the bruises. Don had his eyes closed, relaxing to the sensation knowing it was his brother and noticing his carefulness.

"I'm going to get Leo and Mikey, okay?"

"L-Leo..." Donatello repeated.

Raphael nodded, "Yeah, Leo and Mikey, I'll be right back." He rubbed his finger over Don's cheek before leaving him. Don made a small grunt of displeasure but waited impatiently for his brother's return.

Raphael hurried out the room, closing the door behind him and covered his face with his hands. He felt like crying, he honestly did, but he held it in. Why did this happen? To Don of all people, the brilliant geek of a brother now laid crippled possibly for the rest of his life. It was all his fault. If only he was paying attention, how could he have not heard the van? Why didn't he stop it sooner? Donatello didn't deserve this, he did. He dropped his hands to his sides and exhaled. He had to tell the others, how he screwed up and destroyed their brother.

He slowly made his way to the living where Leo and Mikey were huddled together. Mikey was still clinging to his brother and Leo was spread eagle. Raphael poked Leo's plastron and nudged Mikey. Mikey woke first.

"Wha..?" Mikey looked around till he found Raphael in front of him, "Raph?" The orange turtle rubbed his eyes trying to wake himself up.

"Donny..h-he wants to see you guys," Raphael said to them both. Mikey nodded and climbed off of Leo which startled the oldest. Leo straight upright with his eyes finding Raph instantly.

"There's something else.." Raphael put his hand in front of Mikey's chest to stop him. The two looked up at Raphael, "H-his head..it got knocked pretty hard."

"He doesn't remember us?" Mikey asked sadly.

"No..he actually asked for you first," Raphael told Mikey who weakly smiled it soon faded when Raphael continued.

"I-I think he's damaged." Raphael's voice quivered a little as he broke the news. Leo abruptly stood up, pushing back Raphael and hurrying towards Don's room.

"Leo!" Raphael warned but the blue turtle completely ignored him. Mikey toppled off the couch, still groggy and tired but the urge to see his brother was more over powering. Raphael helped Mikey steady himself, placing a guiding hand over Mikey's shoulder as they made their way to the room.

The room seemed darker than Raphael remembered but the outline of his brothers was still clear as day. Leo was hovering over Donatello who looked unconscious and oblivious to Leo's presence. Raphael watched Leo attempted to wake their brother by gently brushing his face with both his hands.

"Donny!" Leo said loudly for the other to hear, "Donny, please wake up for me."

"Leo, just-"

"Quiet, Mikey!" Leo barked back. Mikey backed up into Raphael and watched in silence. Don finally opened his eyes, staring back at Leo's who's face was inches apart. Donatello narrowed his sight as if he couldn't see his brother before relaxing.

"Leo.." Don spoke.

Leo felt tears collect around his eyes and smiled, "Yeah, bro, it's me." He gently rubbed his index fingers over Don's cheeks as he surveyed Don's body. Don was trying to grab Leo but recoiled when he received a painful shock.

"Don't do that, Don, both your arms are broken," Leo told him but Don continued the action. Leo brought his hand over to Don's to settle it back onto the towel.

"Don, stop," Leo said more firmly. Donatello made a grunt then a strangely loud and long whine.

"'rrrts..a-ahhh h-h-h'rrts"

Leo felt his heart sink into his stomach, "I don't understand you, Don," Leo admitted sadly, "I-I don't under- Don just talk, man, come on don't do that."

"h-h'rt..Leee-"

"Donatello! Stop it!" Leo snapped making Don jump from the outburst. Don let out a painful cry that sounded childish and filled with anguish.

Raphael grabbed Leo's arm and whipped him away from Don, "The hell are you doing?" Raphael growled angrily at the blue clad turtle. In a blink of an eye, Leo grabbed Raphael's throat and flung him to the ground. Raph didn't have enough time to react to the attack, instead he lifted his arms to block as Leo climbed on top of him.

"This is your fault!" Leo shouted into his face, "Look what you did!" Leo tried prying Raphael's arm away then lashed out a fist into the side Raphael's head. Raphael shoved his palm into Leo's chin stunning him and allowing him to push Leo off of him.

"Stop!" Mikey demanded but his voice was drowned out by the sound of Leo's fury cry. He collided himself into Raphael's abdomen, head first, and slammed them both into the wall.

"Leo!" Raphael tried restraining his brother but Leo was blind with rage and flailed his fists towards his brother. Raphael allowed Leo to hit his stomach and chest, moving his head away from the attacks to his face and neck. Eventually, Leo's attack died down. He rested his fits against Raphael's chest and tried to catch his breath.

"It's my fault. He saved me, Leo. We were fighting some thugs when I got caught up because of my anger. My stupid anger and...and I didn't see the van that was.."

"It isn't your fault, Raph." Mikey spoke up this time, "Don't say that."

"It it, Mikey," Raph admitted.

"He's dead."

Raphael looked to his older brother, "What?"

Leo pushed Raphael with the last of his strength back into the wall, "You killed him, Raphael," he shouted. Leo looked down at his feet and growled, "Don is dead because of you."

He turned away from Raph, taking one last look at Donny before leaving the room and slamming the door.

Raphael stood in complete silence as he felt Leo's words sink in. His eyes went to Mikey who was by Don's side and stroked his bruised forehead. Don was silence through the whole ordeal, but from his expression alone, he could tell that Don knew what they were talking about.

"He doesn't mean it," Mikey said.

Raphael didn't say anything.

___A/N: Reviews would be nice._


	2. It's Not Your Fault, Love

Raphael was impatient as they come. He hated waiting but worst of all he hated uncertainty. He wanted truth over those thin white lines, clarity over the dense fog..He wanted his brother to survive without not knowing whether or not this breath was going to be his last. Donatello's recovery was still uncertain. His body was still trying to repair itself and the added help of his mutant genes his body would hopefully recover some time soon. However, like Splinter had told them before, it was still too early. Raphael was providing help for his brother in any way he could. He changed his bandages, bathed him, helped him eat and drink even though Don refused to hold anything in. He was incredibly sensitive to even the scent of food and would throw up. The action itself would cause him to disturbed his wounds and to learn that even breathing was a chore filled Raphael will worry. Mikey was glued to Donatello like a tick on a dog. Don seemed to enjoy Mikey's company because he would read to him or interactive with him more than Raphael did. Not that Raphael didn't try but Mikey was a natural of course. Mikey would offend read comics or attempted to read one of Don's instruction manuals to devices he couldn't even pronoun himself. Raphael watched Don, hoping that he would call out on Mikey, saying he was pronouncing something incorrect but Don remained still and just listened.

They still had not found out the full extent of Don's brain injury. Don's speech was difficult to understand and would instead communicate through moaning or grunts to gain attention. Raphael knew that it was frustrating the purple clad turtle as was it to him.

"This is the best part!" Mikey grinned wildly as he turned the page to one of his favorite comics, "'James! Don't go in there!'" Mikey narrated, "Look at Greg's face, Don, hahaha," he showed Don the image to him which Don scanned briefly before turning away.

Raphael listened to Mikey continue on and was noticing the way Mikey was acting towards their injured sibling. Mikey still held on to his innocence, his energetic wavelength that pierced through everyone's souls, and yet a new found maturity sprung. The way he read to Donatello reminded Raphael of the time Splinter had read to him when he was ill. A father reading a toddler a bed time story, adding comical effect to amuse the child even when it came unnoticed or perhaps without understanding. Don would flash Mikey a quick lopsided grin as Mikey made little noises and growls to play in character as the monster. Hearing Mikey's laughter was refreshing and seeing the little spark of hope through the darkness was what Raphael needed to surround himself in.

Raphael had gathered up new bandages and medicines. Deciding that once Mikey finished with his story he would clean Donny up a bit before leaving him to sleep a little.

"'What is that!' that's Greg shouting it cause he's an idiot but so is Jimmy cause he ran straight after the monster," Mikey's voice abruptly stopped then the sound of paper hitting the ground alerted Raphael.

"Raph!" Mikey shouted. Raph whipped around to see Mikey holding Don down as his body convulsed violently.

"Damn it," Raphael hurried to his brother and hastily threw the covers off Don's body. Raphael swatted Michelangelo's hands away from Donatello, knowing holding him down wasn't the wisest decision but Mikey was at a loss of what to do. He was completely mortified as he watched Don thrash around wildly. Raphael rolled Don onto his side even though his injuries really didn't need the pressure at the moment.

"Raph! His arm!"

"He has to be on his side, Mikey," Raphael retorted but he lifted Don's body a little in his hold to ease the new position. Holding Don sideways while he convulsed wasn't the easiest things to do.

"Mikey, get a towel," Raphael demanded as he noticed blood and saliva leaking from the side of Don's mouth. Mikey hurried to grab one from the sink next to the empty basin and returned to placed it underneath Don's face. After a full minute, Donatello's seizure slowly stopped. He vomited into the towel twice from the attack and the pain. He made loud whimpering noises as he calmed himself down but was breathing heavily.

"R'aahh," Donatello cried out, his body was shaking and painful spasms coursed through his body like electricity. He wanted to lay back down but Raphael still held up sideways. Don was sobbing and moaning loudly, unable to express his discomfort with words like he use to yet Raphael already understood even without a single syllable.

"I know, Don, I'm right here," Raphael reassured his sibling. Mikey placed the dirty towel on the ground and grabbed another one that he placed besides the bed. He ran cold water through it an cleaned Don's face. He shivered, squirmed and moaned for Mikey to stop.

"He needs to be on his side for a little longer," Raphael said, "I'm sorry, bud," he knew how much this was hurting him but he couldn't risk Don choking on his own vomit. By the looks of it Don still looked sick.

Raphael climbed on top of the bed, careful with his hold on Don and crossed his legs so that Don could rest his head on them. Mikey reposition Don's broken limbs so that it would hurt less in their new position also placing a clean towel near Don's face.

"He's okay, right?" Mikey asked Raphael.

"Yeah yeah he's good. He'll be okay," Raphael answered truthfully though he felt himself shake a little from the whole event. He never seen any of his brothers suffer from a seizure or anyone else for that matter. He remembered reading a guide book on medical emergencies when they were on a boring watch. He gotten so bored that he yanked whatever reading material he could from the dumpster. He didn't even think about having to perform any of it on his brothers. He didn't want to think about it but in the end it did help save Don. So he didn't regret it.

Donatello's heavy breathing still lingered, either it being from the sudden seizure or the pain the two didn't know. After careful surveillance, Don had fallen asleep and Raph let him rest on his shell.

Xx

x

It was a week since Don's first episode but it certainly wasn't his last. He had four more seizures till Splinter finally helped ease some of the pain with some of his natural healing remedies. Raphael never really understood most of Splinter's techniques of medicine but it somehow improved Don's health. Most of Don's bruises were clearing and he even could lift a finger or two without much pain. Raphael knew he was hiding it most of the time which peeved him. However, nothing upset him more than their older brother, Leonardo. Leo was distant from Raphael. Heavy on the distant. Whenever Raphael left Mikey to watch over Donatello, Leo would show to see how he was doing but once Raphael returned he disappeared. He wouldn't even look at him or acknowledge his presence. Raphael, no matter how frustrated he got, made no attempt to reach out to him. This was a difficult time for all of them and they really needed each other through it. Having Leo bluntly retaliate against him..what he had told him was still fresh in his memory. It burned into the back of his brain, the truth, and he truly believed in every word. Leo had every right to be angry with him and he was sure if Donny wasn't...wasn't messed up he would be enraged too.

However, as days passed with Raphael still at Donny's side, Donny practically yearned for his presence. Raphael's name was practically the only thing that came out of Don's mouth. He had trouble saying some words and even Raph's name but he never stopped to try. Don would try to spill out sentences but Raphael could only understand a portion of what he said if not any. Hearing him just struggle to say his own name was like needles stabbing at his heart.

Helping Donatello eat was another challenge. It was always something liquid or something easy to consume. Raphael placed a few pillows behind his brother so that he could be propped up to eat and avoid choking. Donny was limp and unresponsive as Raphael readjusted his brother, reminding him of a thin doll that complied to the holders demands.

"I got rice pudding, Don," Raph said as he yanked the plastic off the top of the cup of pudding. Donny never liked pudding in general but Mikey was in the process of making some tomato soup. Whenever that was going to be done, Raph didn't know, but he had to give something to Don. Over the past few weeks Raphael had subconsciously made a mental schedule for his brother. Eating, sleeping, when his bandages needed to be changed or allowed opened for proper healing. Don quickly took in the routine but that didn't mean he had to like it. Donatello's eyes tracked Raphael's every movement as his brother scoped up some of the pudding into a spoon.

"Open," Raphael said firmly to the younger. Don blinked, silent and not responding to Raphael's request. Raphael moved the spoon closer to Don's lips and repeated, "Open".

Donatello looked at the spoon then back to Raphael with tired eyes. Raph noticed the quick movement his brother's eyes would make before closing.

"Donny? Donny, come on you gotta eat something. It's lunch time, Don," Raphael said. He raised his voice enough for Don to open his eyes once again. Looking around in a daze before looking back to Raphael with an almost pitiful expression.

"'uuurrt..." Donatello slurred.

"What?" Raphael was getting impatient all of a sudden. He lowered the spoon and stabbed it into the cup of pudding then set it to the side. "What's wrong, huh? What's wrong?"

Don made a sharp indication of discomfort with just a second change in his facial expression that Raphael quickly caught. Raphael calmed himself but his irritation still loomed over his head.

"Damn it, Donny, please just tell me..tell me what's wrong with you?" he was answered with a small whine before closing his eyes again.

Raphael sighed, "Don, come on just eat like two bites then I'll let you sleep," he said softly. Waiting a few seconds, Raph reached down to shake him awake when he noticed how hot his skin was. Raphael held onto Donatello's forearm tightly, allowing the heat to radiate into his own skin and fill his anxiety. He was getting worse. Don was trying to tell him that and he couldn't even understand him. What more was his brother trying to tell him?

"Donny," Raphael used his hand head to feel his forehead, noticing how the temperature doubled under his palm. Don let out a labored breath and whimper due to the coolness of his older brother's touch against him.

"hu-huurr-"

"Hurt? You hurt? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Don?" Raphael asked. Don's breathing was rapidly increasing in a matter of seconds. Raphael could tell that Don was desperately trying to form the words in his brilliant yet damaged mind of his. Opening his mouth then closing it with a 'ahh' in anger and annoyance. Then he finally let out a violent cough that rattled his broken form, blood escaped the corners of his mouth and dripped down on the sheets.

"Raph..."

For a moment, Raphael felt the world around him be silent and still. His heart beat stilled and his breathes were quick and silent. Everything slowed down in front of him, taking note of the littlest details and change. The sound of Don's voice was like glass crackling under stone to Raphael's ears. The glass moved around Don's lungs as he took in every breath, cutting his throat and tongue till..

Red.

"Donny!"

_Crash!_

Leo dropped the glass cup in his hand after hearing the loud scream. His whole body turn cold as he raced towards Donatello's room thinking nothing but dark imagery.

_God..please no.._

He slammed his body against the door, swinging it open dramatically not caring if it dented the opposite wall from his strength. Leo found Raphael's large body completely engulfing Donatello's. His younger brother was sitting upright, as far as his injured body would allow and Raphael assisting him in the position. His hand was pressed against his shell, holding him still, while the other was against his plastron and covered in..

Leo nearly collided into Raphael as he squeezed himself next to Don's side. Donatello was vomiting blood uncontrollably onto himself. It wasn't the act itself but the quantity of the red liquid that startled the older brothers.

"L-Leo..what- what do I do?" Raphael was panicking himself as he tried holding still Donny's shaking form as he continued to expel. Leo quickly gathered the sheet that was already stained with blood and brought it to Don's mouth.

"Leo!"

"I know!" Leo barked back at the red clad turtle. The amount of blood was alarming. As Leo placed his head against the back of Don's neck, he noticed the warmth and slow tremble that Don's body slowly succumbed to. Don's body suddenly jerked, his back bent against his shell and became deadweight under Raphael's hand.

"He's having a seizure," Leo declared as he helped Don lay back down onto the bed as his body powerfully thrashed around. Raphael quickly turned his brother's body to his side, like he had done before, and gently lifted his head to allow the blood to drip onto the sheets. Raphael was crying. Making no attempt to hide on how terrified he felt.

"Make it stop..make it stop..stop it..stop it please," Raphael pleaded to the unknown as he waited helplessly. Don's eyes were tightly closed occasionally opening every 5 seconds to revel white orbs underneath. After 17 seconds, Donatello's body stilled completely.

"Leo.." Raphael ran his hand over Don's neck to find a pulse. He found nothing.

"Get the oxygen tank! Hurry!"

Raphael hurried to grab the small tank that laid on the opposite side of the bed. His fingers trembled as he gathered the mask in his hands and attached it to the long ventilation tube then to the mask. He whipped the mask towards Leo who grabbed it and placed it over Don's mouth. Leo had little to no confidence in what he was actually doing. He didn't even know if the air would go into his lungs or maybe..this was it..

He didn't allow for that to show cause he knew Raphael was staring at him. Pleading with him to hurry and save Donatello.

"Switch it on."

Raphael obeyed and turned the hard knob at the side of the tank. A slow flow of oxygen filled the tube and finally reaching Don's lungs. Leo began to see blood gradually dripping out the corner of Don's mouth. Bubbling over or unfortunately sinking back into his throat. Regretfully, Leo couldn't do anything to help but just to allow the oxygen to hopefully spark life back into his little brother.

A few seconds turned into a minute...then two minutes..

Suddenly, Don let inhaled sharply which caused most of the remaining blood and saliva in his throat to collect in his lungs. He coughed, his body spasming at every gag but not as devastating as the seizures he had to endure. Raphael stepped in this time to lift his body and lower his head. Leo removed the mask temporarily to allow the blood spew from Donatello's mouth. It was in a small quantity but Raphael still worried about the amount of blood he had actually lost in under an hour.

Don's eyes opened, tears clouding his red and tired eyes as he look over to Leo.

"L-Leo," Don choked.

"Yeah, Donny. I'm-" Leo stared back into Don's eyes and then looked away quickly. Don's hand was reaching over to Leo's, trying to grasp his fingers around Leo's wrist but Leo retreated his arm to his side. Raphael noticed this and glared.

"Leo.." Don said again but the blue turtle ignored him.

"Don't talk, Donny," Raphael said to his brother. Donatello slowly turned his head to Raphael, panting heavily from the large amount of effect to just keep conscious.

"mmm'..no p-pud'ng."

"Okay, Donny," Raphael said with a small smile as he carefully laid Don back into the pillows. Donatello sighed in relief and immediately closed his exhausted eyes. Raphael placed his hand over Don's neck to feel the noticeable strong pulse and relaxed. Raphael snatched the oxygen mask from Leo's grip and placed it over Don's mouth.

"What's your problem," Raphael growled.

Leo snapped from his trance and gave Raph a cold glare, "What?"

"He needs you, Leo. He needs all of us-"

"Don't you dare lecture me," Leo snapped back, pointing a accusing finger towards the red turtle. Leo knew how much Raphael hating that, he was trying purposely to anger him.

"Get out."

Michelangelo stood at the foot of the door, fist clenched at his sides and narrowed eyes. Leonardo made a small 'tsk' but did not even make a move to leave.

"I said- Get. Out. Leo," Mikey demanded firmly towards the blue clad turtle. Raphael watched as Leo seemed to deflate, lowering his head a little to show compliance and angrily stomp away but not without giving Mikey a rough bump on the shoulder with his own. Mikey didn't even flinch and waited by the door till Leo was completely gone and stepped into the room.

"You should leave," Mikey's voice didn't carrying the same sternness when speaking with Leo. He looked more calm but still concern as he looked over Don then to the blood on the sheets.

"Mikey..I can't," Raphael weakly responded. He had to be with Donny he couldn't leave his sight. Mikey walked over to Raphael, even though Mikey was the shortest out of them, his presences seemed to tower him like a fierce waterfall. He didn't feel threaten but only aware of his sudden power.

Michelangelo tenderly put his hand around Raphael's large bicep, "Raph, you're tired," he rebuttal, "Go get some sleep, I'll watch over him."

Truth have it, Raphael was utterly exhausted but he hid it well from the others. Once Michelangelo coaxed him into settling over, he didn't realize how much he was actually holding back. He didn't remember the last time he even ate anything since Don's accident. The constant worry, smell, taste and the sight of blood left him nauseated. His only drive was to help heal his brother. Michelangelo seemed to see right through this.

"Raph," Mikey said again, "Go," it was more of a demand now this time. His grip on his bicep tighten a little then he let go. He placed his hand over Raphael's shell to guide him away from Don's bedside which he found difficult. Raphael couldn't even try to argue with the youngest but instead he took one last look over to Donatello before reluctantly leaving.

"Mmmm'keey," Donatello's voice was muffled slightly from the mask that loosely hung from his face. Mikey turned to Don and smiled.

"Heya, Donny," Mikey greeted. He placed his hand over Don's forehead feeling the warmth and damaged skin underneath. Donatello fatigue was noticeable from the half opened eyes and quick breathes that seemed to hurt at every exhale. Don's eyes rolled back, letting out a shaky sigh before going unconscious once again.

"I'll take care you, Donny," Mikey whispered. He felt his eyes swell with tears as he gently stroked the side of Don's face. Wondering if the nightmare would end...

xx

x

Raphael was startled by the loud and obnoxious sound of laughter. He would usually be annoyed over the fact that he was woken up but it was actually surprising. He looked around and recognized the living room where he knocked out dead on the sofa. He rubbed his eyes, yawning and stretching his aching limps, and noticed the door to Don's room was wide open. He jumped up from the sofa and slow stepped towards the room hearing the sound of Mikey's contagious laughter ring through.

Raphael nearly collided with Master Splinter's tall form as he walked inside. Still drowsy, he blinked and made a quick side step but ended up hitting his shell against the frame of the door.

"Sensei?"

"Good Evening, my son," Splinter greeted, "I assume that you had a good rest?"

"How long was I out?" Raphael asked.

"Almost thirteen hours."

Raphael's eyes widen into saucers. Thirteen hours? He was asleep for that long? Master Splinter rested a hand on Raphael shoulder, "Do not be alarmed. Michelangelo has been keeping a close eye on your brother" he said.

Raphael poked his head to the side to get a glimpse of Mikey, who was holding a cup of tea in front of Donatello. The two were actually smiling at one another and for a moment Raphael thought that everything was back to normal.

"He is recovering slowly," Splinter voice broke through Raphael's observation, "Leonardo has informed me of the incident.."

"Sensei.." Raphael lowered his head a little but allowed his father to talk again.

"Mikey has had a blood transfusion done for Donatello and his body remains weak. His bones have mended but his inner body remains damaged."

"And his head?" Raphael looked up to Splinter with the familiar eyes of innocence he remembered so long ago. Raphael noticed Splinter's ears drop.

"I..I can not say," Splinter truthfully stated, "He has indeed suffered massive trauma to his head-"

"But it'll heal, right?" Raphael asked, practically begging.

"The brain can not simply repair itself after such event. I am no doctor, Raphael. However, I fear that the damage may be permanent."

Raphael looked back over to Mikey and Donny with remorse, "Does...does Mikey know?"

Splinter nodded slowly, "As does Leonardo. However, no matter how much darkness clouds ones path if the will is strong the light will revel itself," he smiled down at the red turtle, "Go on, my son. Donatello needs you."

Raphael bowed his head at his father respectfully before moving away and towards his brothers. He heard the soft click of the door closing behind Master Splinter then the sudden roar of laughter from Mikey.

"Come on, Donny, no cheating," Mikey said playfully to the purple turtle.

Donny didn't look so amused this time but his expression changed once he saw Raphael.

"Raaph" Donatello piped with a large absent tooth grin.

"Hey there, Don," Raphael greeted.

"Have a good nap? You've must've been crazy tired," Mikey said. Raphael just shrugged then grabbed the chair next to door to sit next to Don's bedside.

Raphael was silent, watching Mikey carefully give Donatello the white medium sized mug and Don trying to coordinate his hands correctly. It was like watching a toddler trying to figure out how to hold a fragile object. Don's fingers were slack but once he touched the mug he recoiled.

"C'mon, Don," Mikey encouraged, "It's not that hot."

"'uurrts," Donatello sadly spoke.

Mikey smiled apologetically but still held the cup towards his brother.

"What are you trying to do?" Raphael asked the youngest. Donatello finally raised both of his hand, trembling ever so slightly, and take the mug into both of his hands. Mikey held his hands underneath, guiding Don to keep his hands up.

"Master Splinter said it was a good exercise to help him grow balance and strength for someone in his condition" Mikey explained, "He has to keep the mug up and away from his body and the hot mug helps sooth pain"

Raphael raised a brow, "I'll bite," he replied. Mikey chuckled lightly but his attention was more on Donatello. Don was having difficulty keeping his hands at chest level, lowering them till the mug was an inch away from his thigh. Mikey lifted his arms to help and gave words of encouragement to his brother here and there. After a while Don was getting impatient and moaned loudly in discomfort.

"Okay," Mikey spoke softly like one would to a child. He grabbed the cup from Don's hands and noticed the aggravation in Don's eyes, his sudden balled fists and trembling shoulders. Raphael gently pushed Don's hands down to rest at his sides.

"Good job, Don," Raphael praised with half a smile. Donatello rested his head back into the pillow and sighing deeply from his efforts. Raphael still saw the exhaustion that etched into Donatello's face as well as a loss of color. His hand still rested above Don's, feeling the unwelcoming warmth that radiated from his skin.

"Splinter said he might catch a fever," Mikey said, "We just gotta watch over him till it breaks," the orange turtle curiously watched Raph as he stared sorrowfully at his ill stricken sibling. Mikey frowned, knowing exactly what was plaguing his brother. Guilt. Mikey knew that Raphael was beating himself inside for what was happening. He understood but he couldn't accept it. It also didn't help with the fact that Leo was now the embodiment of hatred towards his very own. Mikey had refused to allow Leo into the room ever since he had told him to get the shell out. Surprisingly, Leo never returned after the argument but loomed occasionally just to check on Don. Leo still cared, Mikey knew that, but his behavior was starting to get destructive. Physically and Spiritually. He wouldn't have it anywhere near Don.

Donatello had drifted off the sleep. Don had a weak hold on Raphael's hand as Raphael rested his other on top of his. The constant thought of how warm he felt upset him to no end.

"Raph, you should go get some rest," Mikey suggested.

"I have, Mikey.." Raphael countered dully.

"I know why you're doing this," Mikey began, Raphael turned his a little which was a little indication that he didn't want to hear it but he continued.

"It's not your fault, Raph, Donatello wouldn't blame you-"

"He can't even think straight," Raphael growled back causing Don to startle awake, "He can't even speak or eat by himself. Why? Because of me, Mikey, because of my stupid hot headed self!"

"So what now? You're gonna pout and cry now? Is that it, Raphael? This is it?" Mikey shouted back, "Stop playing this guilt act because its pissing me the heck off! Get it through your thick skull. This isn't your fault! It's those low life thugs that deserve to have their asses handed to them."

"You don't have to worry about that.." Raphael muttered making Mikey narrow his eyes a little in confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" Mikey asked angrily.

"I snapped his neck."

Mikey's eyes grew wide, "What?"

"It was an accident" Raphael quickly confessed, "I tried stopping him, the van hit the wall hard and made me lose my footing while I had my hand.." his voice faded but the rest connected itself together.

"I don't think of you any differently," Mikey honestly stated.

"Please..don't tell Splinter."

"I won't."

"Raph?" Donny's sleepy tone broke through their conversation. Raphael was actually glad for it.

"Yeah, Don?"

"'uuurrts..R-Raph.."

"I know, buddy, I'm sorry but I can't do anything."

_A/N: _The exercise that Don was doing is an actual therapy in Japanese culture. I read on it and thought it was interesting enough to add to the story. Review please.


	3. I'm Not Ready To Go

_A/N: _Okay so I did have April in this story but then I re read it and realized she was only getting in the way. Therefore I completely edited April out from the story. Sorry. Also this is Leo centric but don't mistake this for Leo hate. He's my favorite turtle and Don's my second.

He shouldn't have let them go in the first place. All because Raphael wanted to stretch his legs a little and venture off when they weren't suppose to. In the daylight, it was forbidden, Master Splinter specifically told them. Yet Raphael insisted that he would stay out of sight from the humans. He was not interested he was too into his marathon of Space Heroes to indulge Raph in his rule breaking scheme.

_Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...Exhale..._

Mikey was too tired after their late night patrol to even wake up for morning practice. Typical. However, Mikey deserved the rest out of all of them. He was up against 20 Purple Dragons that decided to show up last minute near Mikey's playing field. Mikey of course handled it like a pro but he was exhausted afterward. Leo was proud of him so he promised a quick game of Alien Station later on. So Mikey was out of the question.

_Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...Exhale..._

That left Donatello...

_Inha-...Exhale.._

Donatello volunteered to go along with Raphael and to be honest Leo actually breathed a little easier. Raphael usually rushed off by himself and would end up with a few bruises or a wound or two. Of course nothing could have been hidden from Master Splinter so he told Raphael he couldn't be on his own anymore without another.

_ .. ...Inhale.._

Leo's eyes snapped open out of frustration. He let out a growl, pressing his fists into his knees pads and leaned forward. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't concentrate at all. This marked the fourth time in a single day Leo tried to mediate without having his mind clouded. It was impossible. He couldn't clear his head, not without the constant anger, sadness, confusion and _rage _that filled his body. He kept thinking of what Donny had said before he left..before he departed with Raphael...

"_Come back in one piece, Raph," Mikey joked._

"_Pssh. Whatever," Raphael turned, making no hurry to leave the lair now that he had a shadow following him. A patrol officer. _

_Donatello tucked his weapon on his belt and headed after Raphael. Leo suddenly side step in front of him making him halt. _

"_Don, watch him alright?" Leo said._

"_Don't worry," Donatello replied with a small smile, "He isn't leaving my sight."_

"_Okay, I just got this really weird feeling," Leo returned the smile and placed a hand on Donny's shoulder, "You be careful too."_

"_I got Raph with me, remember?" _

Leo stared into the ground with hatred. Don had Raphael..he was suppose to protect their little brother and he failed. Raphael failed to protect Donatello instead Don had to protect him. It wasn't suppose to be like that. Big brothers were suppose to protect their siblings. Raphael...Raphael's stupid selfish...

"Argghh!" Leo shouted as the rage inside him boiled over. He stood up and darted towards the large practice dummy. He lifted his weapons from the scabbard behind his back then lunged his sword into the belly of the dummy. He yanked the sword from it, plunging the other near the neck area then repeated the attack. The cotton inside fluttered out lazily to the ground, all around Leo as he continued his attack with little mercy. He dropped his swords and began striking every inch of the mangled material in front of him. Punching, kicking, ripping his hand into the dummy and pulling out as much cotton as he could.

"_I got Raph with me, remember?"_

Tears flowed down his face without much of a notice. His body was shaking and his wild slaughter of the dummy was starting to lessen into clumsy attacks. The tears were collecting, clouding his vision and irritating his eyes which only made him more angry. He blinked rapidly, trying to rid of the annoying disturbance. As he shut his eyes he missed a punch towards the dummy head and collided his fist into the hard wood.

He yelped in pain, retreating his damaged hand near his plastron while the other hand nursed it.

"Damn.." he cursed. His hand throbbed painfully but he was sure that it wasn't broken. The pain seemed to knock him back into his senses. Back from his destructive rage that fogged his mind yet he was still angry. Why did this have to happen to his family?

Over time..over time Don will over come this. He just needed more time that's all. This was just a little bump in the road but Donny always bounced back. Leo was sure of it. The strange optimism filled his desperate heart. He inhaled sharply, sitting with his legs crossed neatly and tried to mediate. Maybe..maybe..yes. Yes. He just needed time.

_Time always heals wounds..._

xx

x

"Maybe we're rushing this.." Mikey said nervously.

Raphael made a small 'tsk' and focused on trying to gather Donatello into his arms. Don was the tallest out of them but he was also the thinnest. Not that Raphael had any trouble picking up any of his brothers. He was the strongest after all (and apparently the biggest ego). Mikey watched doubtfully as Raphael hoisted Donatello into his arms effortlessly. Don made a small surprised yelp and weakly wrapped his right arm around Raphael's neck.

"Relax, Donny," Raphael could feel his brother start to shake with the uncertainty of being dropped. Raphael would never drop his brother and the fact that his brother was counting on him to never do so gave him even more strength.

"This will be good for him," Raphael said calmly to the youngest, "Trust me."

Donatello's grip on his neck tighten slightly as he shook like a leaf in his arms. Don was still incredibly weak but his wounds were nearly non-existence besides the irreversible abnormal form of his chest. He treated the fragile turtle ever so gingerly which wasn't too hard considering that he hardly weighed anything. Don had lost an alarming amount of weight ever since he became bed ridden. Mikey was sure to fix that once Don was able to consume solid foods again without rejection.

Mikey zoomed behind Raphael as the red turtle made his way out of Donatello's room and slowly into the bright living room. Donatello shield his eyes and hiding his face into Raphael's plastron. He bumped into it on his sensitive forehead and whimpered loudly making Raphael stop walking.

"Nnghh..." Donatello squirmed a little in Raph's arms. He didn't find the experience of venturing out of his room all too pleasant any more.

"It's okay, Donny," Raphael reassured his brother. He carefully stepped into the living room then settled Don on the large sofa. As Raph tried to pull away from Don's grip, Don protested and kept his arm around his neck.

"R..Raa-Raapph..n-no," Don stuttered, wielding a pained filled expression.

"I'll be right here, buddy," Raphael knelt besides him and moved a little closer so that Don's arm wasn't in an awkward position around his neck. Donatello seemed to have relaxed a little but still looked fearful. Why was he so scared all of a sudden? It wasn't like he was bringing him topside. It was just to the living room, he remembered the lair right?

"Here.." Mikey took control now this time. Appearing next to Don and gently placing his hand over Don's bicep to grab his attention. Don let out a sharp inhale, his eyes growing wide with panic and anxiety.

"Donny, let go of Raphie okay?" Mikey said calmly to the purple turtle, "Don't worry- here I'll bet you're hungry, right? How about some soup? You like soup right, Donny?"

"Huunng'y," Don attempted to repeat.

Mikey smiled and laughed, "Yeah! I bet you're hungry but you gotta let Raphie go."

Raphael was surprised to feel Don's grip around him start to loosen slowly. Finally Don's arm went limp and Mikey gently grabbed his arm and placed it against Don's plastron. His eyes were still wild, taking quick glances around the room and would offend stop to find Raphael or Michelangelo. As if they would disappear in front of his eyes.

"I'll stay with him, Raph, go get the soup it's on the stove already you just need to warm it up," Mikey requested, never meeting his eye but he trusted Mikey to stay. Raphael stood up and instantly saw Don snap his head towards him.

Mikey scooted in front of Don to block his view, "Wanna watch some telly, Donny? Let's see if Leo has that VHS tape still in so we can watch Space Heroes."

Donny's attention was averted quickly to Mikey, completely forgetting about Raphael, and settled into the sofa. He watched with amusement as Mikey went over to the television and kneel in front of the small screen to figure out the device.

"Ugh..it's in here somewhere," Mikey pulled out the box of VHS tapes he collected and began searching through them. Occasionally, turning to make sure Don was still safely tucked in the sofa. Don's eyes never left Mikey's back but would sometimes avert towards the kitchen after hearing the strange sounds of cursing and clangs.

"It's probably in Leo's room. Hmmm..okay we'll watch something else! How about a comedy, Don?" Mikey asked the older turtle. Donatello noticed the smile on Mikey's face, knowing the sign of happiness from his brother and returned it along with a moan.

"Okay! I know it's at the bottom of this- uh..why is it always at the very bottom- Ouch!" Mikey yanked his hand from the box in shock and pain. He whipped his hand from side to side and looking down at his palm. Blood oozed out of a deep cut that stretched across his palm. Mikey pressed his other hand into the wound and groaned.

"Mmm'key?" Donny and attempting to sit up by twisting his body to the left to start on his shoulder. Mikey quickly stood up, nearly tripping over the numerous tapes that he scattered on the floor.

"No no! Don't get up I'm fine," Mikey said and lowered his brother back onto the cushion with knuckles. Both hands were now bloodied so he avoided getting any of it on Donny. Donatello stared up at Mikey with confusion but knew that something was bothering his younger brother. He remained still, thankfully, Mikey turned back towards the box and saw a broken VHS tape that had jagged edges from where it was split in two. Some of his blood even stained at some of the box covers and tapes but that was the least of his worries. It hurt like shell.

"Aww man," Mikey threw back his head in annoyance, "Raph! Raph, come heeeerree!"

"What? What's wrong?" the red turtle shouted back. Raphael quickly appeared from the kitchen but having noticed nothing urgent for his attention his shoulders slacked.

"What?" Raphael growled.

"I cut my hand! Watch Don for like a second, okay? Before I bleed out and die!" Mikey exaggerated.

"Seriously? Fine," Raphael sighed and walked back into the living room to keep his sibling company till Mikey returned. Once Mikey rushed out and into the bathroom, Don stared up at Raphael with a sad expression.

"He'll be back," Raphael told his brother.

Donatello kept his eyes at the door in which Mikey had disappeared into. After a few minutes, Donny's attention was back at Raphael who was kneeling besides him with a small smile.

"I love you, Donny," Raphael said. His tone was lowered slightly but Don recognized the words easily and flashed him a gaped tooth smile. The fact that his brother responded to his comment made his heart do spins and flips. It made him have hope that his brother's brilliant mind still lingered, just resting or perhaps dormant somewhere. This Donatello was Raphael's living guilt and reminder of his failed promise to keep his brother safe. However, Mikey's words ran true in his mind. He couldn't just wallow in this guilt ridden puddle in his mind. His brother needed him.

He was brought back from his thoughts from a strange smell that filled his senses. It smelled like..

"Oh crap!" Raphael bounced up, "The soup! Stay here, Don!" Raphael hastily patted Don's hand and rushed into the kitchen to the burning smell that was quickly filling the lair. If he burnt another pot Splinter would be so mad! It would mark the sixth one he would have destroyed.

Donatello stayed still on the sofa with his eyes dancing around the ceiling with his mouth agape. He was a little perplexed now that he was by himself and was feeling a little uncomfortable without Raphael or Mikey by him. As if on cue, the sound of a sliding door caught his attention. Don slowly lowered his gaze towards the small corridor and noticed Leonardo. Leo had emerged from the showers after his solo training and mediation. He had a small towel on his head, his mask absent from his face but Donatello didn't have any trouble recognizing his oldest sibling.

"Leo!" Donny piped loudly, "Leo! Leo!" he repeated. The sudden joy filled voice from his sick brother startled Leonardo. He stopped dead in his tracks to stare back at his brother who waited for him like an anxious puppy. Leo tossed the small towel to the ground and made his way over to his brother.

"What are you doing here, Donny?" Leo asked angrily at the purple turtle. Don didn't seem to be the least bit worried about his brother's tone. Instead he let out a broken chuckle that sounded pitiful and stupid to Leo's ears.

"Leeeo..mmmhh- hhe'r," Donatello raised his hand towards his brother, indicating he wanted Leo's hand. Leo backed away from him a little and frowned.

"I can't play with you, Don," Leo barked, "You should be in your room. Where's everyone?"

"Leo!" Donny repeated again.

"Don, where is Raphael?"

"Ughh..nevermind," Leo abruptly turned away from Don's awaiting hand. Donny frowned, his hand folding in till it made a loose fist and his eyes tracking Leo's shell.

"Leo!" Donny tried again but this time it was much louder. Leo felt himself grow angry, his shoulder tense trying to resist the urge to lash out against his brother.

_Just shut up! Shut up already! _

"Leo!"

_Donny, please..shut up damn it.._

"Leee-"

A loud thud sounded behind him making him halt and turn around at the noise. Leo saw Donatello on all fours on the ground, his weak arms were trying to hold him up but the impact to the ground made him ache. Leo could faintly hear the small whines of discomfort from his brother and knew he had to help him. Leo rushed to Donny's side, placing one hand under his arm to try and lift him.

"Get up, Donny," Leo ordered firmly.

Donatello was still stunned from his action that lead him to fall off the sofa. His whole body was trembling from the pain and shock.

"Donny, I said get up! Now!" Leo growled. He lifted Donny up till he was half way on his feet but his knees kept buckling.

"C-Can't..Leo..it-it..'uurrts," Donatello whimpered, tears flowed down his cheeks as the trembling started to get worse.

"You aren't even making an effort," Leo said cruelly, "Come on! Stop this now! You aren't even trying, Donatello! Nothing is wrong with your legs! Stand up!" he shouted. Donatello felt fear rise inside him as his oldest brother glared down at him. Donny wrapped his hand around Leo's bicep and tried to pull himself up with all his strength. Leo did nothing to help and watched his little brother struggle. He knew he could do it. He could do it on his own, why was he being so stubborn? A hot burning sensation flared in Donatello's chest making him stop and release his grip on Leo's arm. He placed his hand over his plastron and cried out in pain.

"Donny!"

Mikey hurried towards Donatello to assist his brother, "Why aren't you helping him, Leo!" he shouted. As Mikey neared his brother Leo's arm shot up in front of the youngest. Mikey ran into Leo's arm shooting him a death glare and then roughly pushed him to the side. Leo stumbled back a little but his expression remained neutral as he watched Mikey kneel down in front of Donatello.

Donatello was panting from his efforts and the pain that coursed through his body. Once he felt a protective embrace engulf him he pressed himself against his safety that was Mikey.

"He's never going to get better if you don't stop treating him like a baby!" Leo snarled at Michelangelo.

"How dare you!" Mikey cursed back, "This is your brother, Leo! What is wrong with you?"

"He could do it. He just didn't want to-"

"He _can't, _you idiot!" Mikey held Donny close to his chest as he tried to subdue his terrified brother's trembling. Leo had no only hurt him but worse; made him fearful of his own brother.

"Leo, he can't okay..his..his lower spine is all messed up. That's what Splinter said...Leo he can't walk on his own anymore," Mikey explained.

Leo was frozen. His eyes now locked onto his trembling sibling who was also giving back a phobic stare. He coward like a scared child in Mikey's arms, pain filled eyes that nervously looked at Leo as if he was going to snap again at him.

"No," Leo felt his stomach twist causing such agony that he was sure to vomit, "Donny..oh god..I'm so sorry."

He suddenly felt himself be lifted off the ground and glided across the room. Perplexed, he shut his eyes and waited for the impact that ended up being the hard ground against his shell. He was pressed further into the ground by a large and heavy body on top of him. Leo opened his eyes, just as he did, a large fist collided into his jaw.

"You _bastard._"

Leo tried getting up, moving himself from side to side to escape the assault but to no valid. Another blow struck the same area making him cry out in pain.

"R-Raph-" Leo lifted his arms up to block the next attack which proved successful this time.

"You worthless piece of crap!" Raphael shouted as he attempted to attack Leo's face. After seeing Leo's defense wouldn't fold, he began at his chest. Pounding his fist into his brother like a punching bag without any restriction. Leo grabbed Raphael's arm and twisted it at the wrist to stun him briefly. Raphael yanked his arm away and as he did Leo slipped underneath him and kicked him hard in the plastron. Raphael growled like an angry beast ready to attack his prey.

"Raph!" Mikey seemed to have pulled hard on an invisible chain that was locked around Raphael. Raphael stopped his advance towards Leo much to his surprise and turned back to Mikey. Mikey had a stern look at both of them.

"Raph, don't please.." he pleaded wistfully to his older brother. Raphael would have ignored Michelangelo and proceed to try and bash Leo into the ground with his own two fists. However, his eyes went straight to Donatello. Donny was watching them fight, watching his brothers as it were a horrid nightmare that he couldn't wake from. Leo stood quickly and dropped again in front of his young brother.

Mikey noticed Donatello suddenly become stiff as a plank of wood.

"Donny..Don..I'm so sorry," Leo said sorrowfully. However, Don made no move to acknowledge Leo. His eyes were darting up and down, left and right, anywhere but where Leonardo knelt.

"Donny, p-please don't hate me..I love you. Donny, I love you so much," Leo extended his arms out towards Donny, begging him to recognize his apology and sincerity. Mikey's hold on Don lessen enough for Don to make his own decision. Don finally settled his tear stricken eyes towards the oldest with uncertainty.

"Leo," Donatello said with a little more confidence but was still laced with affliction. Leo nodded slowly to him with a broken smile with his arms still open. Don inched away from Mikey's arms, moving his arm up to reach his brother's but winced. Leo watched as Don's body suddenly started to shake only more violently than before.

_No..._

Donatello's fingers tenderly grazed across Leo's forearm and up to his shoulder.

_Donny please don't_

He closed his eyes tightly, pain gripping his tired and weak body into what felt like oblivion.

_Donny!_

Don's eyes rolled back and the rest of his body fell into Leo's awaiting arms. He caught his brother instantly but his hold was absent as he felt Don's body thrash violently against his plastron.

"He's having a seizure!" Mikey nearly shouted with anger clear in his tone.

Leo carefully set Don's body on the floor and held his head up to avoid him hurting himself. Mikey turned Don's body to his side and rushed out of the living room. Rambling on about bringing a pillow for his head and towels. Raphael took Mikey's spot, in front of Don and opposite of Leo, and held onto Don's shaking arms.

"Come on, Donny," Leo whispered, "You can pull through this."

Donny's body convulsed in sharp and unpredictable movements that were intensifying after just 10 seconds. A small cry escaped Don's lips, his eyes still shut tightly and baring his teeth from the escalating agony. His body was on fire and his brain felt like it was slowly being drowned by acid. He was in an extensive amount of pain and none of his brothers could aid him.

"It's been nearly a minute! Why isn't he calming down?" Raphael asked with concern. Mikey had returned with a pillow from Donatello's room and several towels. One of them was soaked with warm water while the others remained dry to collect saliva and foam that formed around his mouth.

His body tighten and jerked back nearly hitting his head roughly against the ground. Leo could feel each movement and started to think that being on his side wasn't the best idea. The seizure was lasting much longer than before and he knew it was certainly a bad thing. Just as thought came across his mind Donatello's body slowly became calm.

"That's it, bro," Raphael coaxed, "It's okay," he had his hand on his shell and the other against his plastron. As Don's body ceased all together from the episode he began panting out loud, laboring, and with discomfort. Suddenly, Don vomited clear foam and acid into the towel that was besides his face. Leo lifted his body a little more till Don's head was resting on his forearm to allow the sickness out.

"There's no blood," Mikey noticed with a sigh relief. Raphael and Leo both agreed silently but the worry still hung in the air. Donatello was fighting to stay conscious this time, the effort leaving him exhausted, scared, and a little dizzy. His body was trembling lightly but soon he noticed the warm hands of his brothers and relaxed. He wasn't alone. He raised his arm enough to rest it against Leo's and scooted closer into him as he did with Mikey not long ago. Leo tucked him into his arms and nuzzled his face into against Don's cheek.

"You're okay, little brother," Leo mumbled.

Xx

x

Donatello was raging a war inside himself to stay awake long enough to know that his brothers wouldn't disappear. Raphael finally reassured the purple clad turtle of his presence before giving into exhaustion. Leo did the honors of collecting Donny in his arms and slowly made his way back to his bedroom. Leo could feel the piercing glare that Raphael was giving him behind him. He knew he deserved it and he hoped that the two brothers would allow him to remain in the room. He wanted to apologize to his brother, to everyone for his behavior. Donatello didn't deserve it. He was reaching out to him for his attention and guidance. All he did was shun him away like an unwanted broken toy. He wasn't a toy, an object or an animal. He was his brother. Mikey was grounding herbs together that Splinter had given him with a mortar for Donatello to take once he wakes up. The task didn't take much concentration but Mikey stared into the mortar with a hard look. Leo knew he was trying his best to ignore the oldest in the room. Raphael had climbed on the bed besides Donny, careful not to disturb him, half of his body was on the edge but he looked content. He closed his eyes and placed his arm around Don's plastron and drifted off into a light slumber with his brother.

"What you said," Mikey's voice alarmed Leo enough to make him jump. He turned himself to Mikey who set the small bowl in his hands on his lap. Mikey's glare wasn't directed to him but to the ground.

"What you said to Raphael ate him from the inside out. I hope you know that."

"I-I...I know.." Leo replied, "I was angry. He didn't deserve that, I know it was stupid of me and I would do anything to take that back."

"Leo-"

"What happened to Donny- it wasn't fair..I-I was so mad and frustrated. I guess my mind was so screwed up that I thought it was okay to burden Raphael with the fault. I thought it was okay. That it would slowly ease the guilt in me..but it didn't. It only made it worse."

The two allowed silence to fog over their conversation. The sound of Don's breathing and Raphael's low snores echoed through the room making the atmosphere so familiar it hurt.

"I'm such a jerk," Leo placed his hands over his face, trying not to cry over his pitiful confession. Mikey couldn't have agreed more but he kept that to himself. Knowing for a fact that if Raphael was awake he would sink Leo into the ground with his words. Mikey didn't want to belittle Leo, he was only trying to understand him yet his actions were more readable then anything.

"Don't push us away, Leo," Mikey said softly, "Donny needs all of us to be there for him and I'm sure he misses his big brother"

Leo nodded slowly, "You're right," he raised his head and looked over to the youngest with a small smile. Mikey did the same and Leo even recognized some of that child Mikey peak out just from his expression.

"I forgive you, Leo. But it's going to take more with Raphael and maybe even for Donny too," Mikey said as he nudged his head over to the sleeping turtles. Leo sighed and the realization hit like a brick. The things he said to him, nearly hurting him and the curses. He had a lot to apologize for. He also needed to do the same to Donatello most of all.

_A/N: _Last chapter is coming up soon. Please review.


	4. It's Only A Memory

_A/N: _Final chapter! Thank you to all who reviewed. I appreciate it very much and I'm glad you guys liked it.

By the time Raphael woke up from his power nap, Leo had fallen asleep himself. His brother was leaning against the wall with his head resting on the corner with a large pillow underneath him. Mikey had taken Leo's chair that was near Don's desk and skimmed through a gaming magazine with tired eyes. Raphael was careful not to move more than necessary to startle Donatello. The purple turtle looked like the definition of peaceful. He was laying on his shell with his hands resting against his stomach close to where the bandages still held. His head was close to Raphael's shoulder but he faced the ceiling with a partly opened mouth to show his missing tooth. This was probably the greatest sleep the young turtle had gotten ever since the accident.

"Hey," Mikey tilt his head towards the red turtle with a smile but Raphael remained stoic. Of course, Mikey wasn't bothered by this at all. It was usual Raphael behavior. He also knew that Raphael's small quick glances towards the oldest by the corner were something to take note on.

"Why is _he _here?" Raphael whispered darkly towards the orange clad turtle. Mikey gave Raph a glare before going back to his magazine. It was obvious why Leo was here even though Raphael hadn't heard the conversation between them. Raphael liked to be oblivious on purpose maybe it was just to let the apology sink in deeper with his ego. However, this wasn't just any old apology.

Raphael sighed in annoyance and laid back down next to Donny. He chose to lay on his side, facing Donatello with a mother hawk stare of constant vigilance. He leaned in closer to his brother till his face nearly touched Don's. He hesitated at first but then nudged his beak into Don's cheek. Don let out a sleepy groan and moved a little away from the disturbance. Raphael smiled and followed. Instead he choose to burrow his head between the sharp notch between his neck and shoulders. He ignored how visible his clavicle bone was near his face, the too hot temperature, and the rapid pulse beating that was almost audibly to his sensitive ears.

"mm..nngh.."

Raphael could hear and the vibrations from Don's throat at his attempt to form words. Raphael ducked his head a little and moved away wondering if he had again disturbed his brother. Don was waking up. Mikey jumped up in an instant and waited impatiently for his brother to stir again.

"Donny?" Raphael softly whispered.

"Uh..Raph?" he sounded...Don sounded normal..

Something inside him flew up into his chest and filled him with unexpected relief. "Yeah, I'm right here," Raphael replied.

"R-Raph..I'm so sorry," Donatello mumbled tiredly. His eyes remained closed, breathing hard but steady.

"What are you talking about, Don?" Raphael was confused at his words. The purple turtle had nothing to apologize for. So why was he?

At first, Raph thought Don had slipped back to sleep. His stillness suggested the factor but suddenly Don opened his eyes and turned right to him. His eyes were unfocused and still wielded pain within them.

"The van..the van..hit you an-and didn't..didn't stop it"

"Donny, Raph is safe he isn't hurt," Mikey stepped in this time, laying his hand over Don's bicep to know of his presence. Don blinked, dazed by the new voice but recognized it nonetheless. He turned his head a few inches till he saw his baby brother then back to Raphael.

"What do you remember, Don?" Mikey asked.

Raphael watched Don try to work his brilliant mind through the damaged cogs and missing bolts. His brow knitted into concentration and also agitation.

"Hurt," Don uttered.

"You saved me, Donny," Raphael said, "I hate you so much for what you've done in my place. It shouldn't have been you taking the hit for my stupidity," he spoke while holding back hot tears behind his eyes. Donatello stared on, knowing what his brother was saying and allowing it to sink in. He was completely silent and Raphael feared that maybe Don had reverted back to being impaired. However, something sparked in Don's eyes. A horrible expression of fear. Lines carved underneath his fatigued eyes as they widen into saucers and twitched. His hand shot down towards the missing part of his lower plastron then slowly back up to his chest.

"Ahh.." he cried out breathlessly, shutting his eyes as he was engulfed in an extreme amount of pain. His memory flashed back, reliving the torture of having his insides mashed together and his head pounded into the concrete wall.

"Donny, calm down," Mikey warned. Don was beginning to tremble as the memory played over and over in his mind.

"Donny!" Raphael hopped off of the bed hastily and tried to ease his brother from whatever was inflicting him. What was happening? Was he having some sort of panic attack? Donatello began to hyperventilate. His fingers tried to dig into his hard plastron, looking as if he was trying to painfully pry it open with his just fingers. Mikey quickly took hold of both of Don's hands, crushing them together to avoid him doing any harm. It only made it worse.

Don cried out in absolute terror.

He lifted himself up with the help of Mikey's firm grasp around his wrists. He struggled wildly against his brother's grip but Mikey kept his hold. He was conflicted on whether or not to let go. Through all the cries and thrashing around, Leo awoken and jumped up to assist.

"No no no no," Don repeated. His body was shaking and Mikey could feel the temperature of Don's skin raise from his efforts to be released.

"Donny! It's okay!" Raphael said.

"..hurts..hurts so much.." his breathing was still rapid and Raph was sure that he would pass out from the task of trying to keep air in his lungs. Leo launched forward and swiftly unhinged Mikey's grip away from Don's wrists. Allowing Leo to take charge, Mikey moved out of the way so that Leo could take his place beside him.

"Donny, look at me," it wasn't a demand from the blue turtle. It was simple and tender request from his brother. Don stopped struggling but looked ready to defend himself or dash out from the room if he could. Leo brought his hand over between the space of Don's shell and the bone that poked out from his spine near his neck. It was one of the most sensitive spots on their bodies. On the others, it was mainly a 'do not touch' zone. Either it being too intimate or just to ticklish. However, Leo found it to be a perfect submission tool against Don. He found it by accident when they were little. When Don became bored by Leo's television programs and decided to take the remote hostage. Leo was small compared to Don's tall frame but his hand soon found the sensitive spot between his neck and shell and Don immediately ceased movement and calmed instantly. Don was known to have panic attacks from obvious stress. It was Leo's secret weapon that he used to help his brother relax.

Don didn't respond at first till Leo gently rubbed the soft area with his finger tips. Suddenly, Don's body had gone completely limp. Raphael quickly caught his brother despite knowing Leo already had a hold on him by keeping a hand over his shell. To their surprise, Donatello was slowly reverting back to normal. His eyes were narrowed but were released from the pain and fear that were present in them a moment ago. Raphael watched as Leo continued a small circular motion that ranged from deep into the start of Don's shell to the back of his head. Donatello let out a long sigh of complete tranquility, his head flopped back making Leo's hand moved back to the start of his shell once more.

"Wh-..how are you doing that?" Mikey asked curiously. Leo only grinned before slowly stopping and retreating his hand and resting it against Don's plastron.

Raphael was just as perplexed as Mikey. Don looked like he just woke from the most wonderful slumber ever in his life. Leo lowered his sibling back into the pillow, keeping his hand against Don's stomach just in case and waited for him to break out of his trance.

"L-Leo?"

Leo lifted his head a little to attention, "Yeah?".

Don blinked rapidly once more but was still collected in his tranquil state, "You said you promised you wouldn't try that..on me again," he said with a small smile. Leo chuckled along with Mikey. Raphael couldn't even begin to describe the overwhelming joy that filled inside him. Don spoke. He said an actual sentence without difficulty. Was..was his brother back to normal?

"Are you okay? How do you feel?" Leo asked with concern.

"F-Fine..I'm okay," Don answered. Raphael could tell it was the honest to gods truth just by his tone. He decided to let Don rest for a few moments, giving him some space to breath but still close by. Mikey had gathered some of the herbs he had grounded and said he would make tea to put them in. He looked excited and ecstatic like his usual former self.

"Mm..my head hurts" Donny said, wincing as he poked at a soft spot above his eye. Raphael gently grabbed his hand away from his sensitive brow.

"Mikey is gonna get you something so just sit tight for a while," Raph said with a smile.

Don looked up at him, observing Raphael's unusual tame demeanor and Leo's concerned towering figure over him.

"W-what's going on?" Don asked. He winced again, placing his hand over his head despite his injury.

"Don, you got hit by the van. The van was suppose to collide into me but you saved me. You..you got hit bad. I mean..real bad. We thought you were going to..going to die, Donny. You were really messed up and.." Raphael hesitated, eyes lowering from the guilt and horrible memory.

"You weren't in the right state of mind.."

"What do you mean?" Don asked.

"Brain damage," Leo finished solemnly. Don stared at his older brother with horror but it quickly faded.

"I'm okay now.." Don said, "I-I feel better"

"No, Donny, you're not," Raphael sharply retorted.

"I am!" Donatello shouted angrily. He wished he hadn't cause now his head was light and he suddenly felt extremely sick. He closed his eyes, "I..I..I feel-feel fine..."

"Just relax," Raphael said, "Relax, little bro."

Donatello didn't argue this time. He looked exhausted and his breathing quicken as if he had just ran a marathon an then some. Leo looked over to Raphael with a worried expression who returned it without question. Leo placed his hand over Don's forehead and concluded his suspicion. Don was still running a fever.

"He's hot," Leo announced in a whisper to the red turtle. Donatello suddenly snapped his head towards Raphael, away from Leo's hand and let out a frustrated moan. Raphael waited for the purple turtle to tell them that he was fine over and over again. However, he was silent but the rough pants, raspy exhales, spoke for him instead.

"Just let him rest," Leo uttered as he tenderly caressed Don's face. Rubbing his thumb near the side of his eye and temple. He was so glad that Donny was back but it didn't stop his concern. He knew his struggle was far from over.

"I can watch him, Raph, if you want to help Mik-"

"Shut it," Raphael growled low enough for Don not to hear. Leo frowned.

"If I wasn't so tired I would knock you into the next month," Raphael cursed angrily at him.

"Can we not do this right now?" Leo pleaded but was slightly annoyed nonetheless. Raphael snorted and turned his attention back to Don who had drifted off.

Mikey returned still baring a large smile and big cup of hot tea. His face fell a little, seeing Don laying down in slumber, but he still held on to his optimism that practically radiated off him like rays of sun.

"He needs to drink at least half of this" Mikey said. Raphael was reluctant to wake his brother but he knew how much his brother was hurting at the moment. The herbs would help. Leo seemed to have backed off a little and allowed Raphael to lightly shake Don awake.

"C'mon bro, you need to drink this," Mikey said with a smile. Don was far in sleep to notice his brother shaking him to rise which worried the brothers. He was only conscious a few minutes ago. Why wasn't he waking up?

"Donny," Raphael smacked the side of the purple turtle's face lightly with the up side of his hand. As his hand touched the side of his face he stopped to rest it against his skin.

"He's too hot," Raphael stated.

"What?" Leo jumped back towards the bedside to check for himself, "We..we gotta- Raph, bring him to the living room," he ordered.

"Why?" Mikey piped.

"Just do it!" Leo barked as he sped out of the room and towards the main room. Mikey set the cup down to help Raphael sit Don into a upright position. It was then did they realize that Don was indeed still conscious but unable to respond or even lift his eyes due to his weakness. The hot temperature that his body was emitting was rendering it completely unresponsive and slow. Raphael grabbed Donatello close to his chest and lifted him into his arms.

Mikey followed close behind, watching over Don's limp form and casting side glances towards Leo. The elder sibling had disappeared into the bathroom to grab a bucket of lukewarm water and dozens of towels.

"Leo, just stick him in the bathtub!" Raphael argued.

"No! He'll go into shock. We're cold blooded, Raph. If we just dump him in a cold tub while he's running a high temperature it'll only make him worse," Leo explained, beckoning for his brother to set Don on the sofa. Raphael obeyed even though every part of him wanted to retaliate back but he had to think of Don.

"Raph.." Donny's voice crackled and sounded dry to his ears.

"It's okay, Donny, I'm right here," Raphael answered automatically as he carefully set him down on the sofa below. Immediately Raphael noticed the temperature difference between Don's bedroom and living room. The living room was always the coldest room no matter what time of day. The soft breeze and added autumn weather from above contributed to the atmosphere in the lair. Normally overlooked but Raphael was glad for the little things today.

"Here," Leo soaked a small towel into the bucket of water, hastily pulling it out to ring it then tossed it to Raphael. He caught it and folded it once so that it not only laid on his forehead but also the top of his head. As soon as the lukewarm towel touched his skin Donatello gasped lightly at the sudden sensation. Before he could observe Don's reaction Leo poked his arm with another damp towel at hand. Mikey had placed one on his neck that also covered his shoulders completely. Another was placed behind his neck and at the nook underneath his shell. Raphael held onto the last towel for his own use. He soaked the towel in his hands and ringed it but not as hard as the last ones. Water dripped from the towel as he roughly shook it towards the ground. Once he was satisfied he gently glided the towel across Don's legs. Raphael noticed Don's uncomfortable responses to the action but Raphael continued with the other leg willingly. Mikey sat on the ground with his legs crossed, staring up at Raphael then over to Donatello. He felt, again, completely useless at what to do and just allowed his older siblings to take care of the purple clad turtle this time.

Leo was glad to see that Don's breathing had slowed down but would occasionally hitch whenever Raphael ran the towel towards his upper thigh. Leo cupped his hands and dipped them into the water to gather some, "Sorry," he muttered to his brother as he sprinkled the water on his plastron. Donatello gasped out loud and jerked his body to the side to get away from the water. Mikey grabbed his arm to stop him from rolling onto his side and gently placed him back on his shell.

"Cold," Donatello mumbled.

"Sorry, Donny," Leo replied halfheartedly. He brought his hands to the water again and repeated the action much to Donatello's frustration.

"Leo!" Don cried out, "S-stop."

Leo backed off for the moment to remove the towels, dip them into the water, and placed them back where they last were. The water was starting to become cold but Donatello's body was still too hot for their liking. However, despite this fact, Don began to shiver.

"I'll get a blanket," Leo said as he placed the towel on Don's neck back to its place. Neither of the two said anything to the oldest. Leo was already use to the silent treatments and soundlessly retreated from the living room towards Don's bedroom.

"Do you think it would be a good time for him to eat something? Don hasn't eaten anything since yesterday," Mikey said.

Raphael shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe some sou-..oh man..I totally forgot about that soup."

Mikey laughed, "Dude, the pot is completely ruined. You are not allowed to touch that stove anymore."

Mikey knew he would have to make another pot of his tomato soup which would take about half an hour to make. Though now that Raphael destroyed the pot, yet again, he would have to use the saucer pan. The two smiled at one another ending their light felt conversation into comfortable silence. Leo had returned with two blankets for his sibling and placed them at the end of his feet. Raphael grabbed the towel that laid on Don's right thigh and tossed it to the ground. He then grabbed one of the blankets and covered Don up to his neck and did the same with the second blanket.

"He'll be fine now," Leo calmly stated, "But I think one of us should stay with him. You know, just to be safe."

Raphael glanced to Mikey who in return did the same but smiled, "I'm going to make some soup for Donny since the last time didn't go so well," he glared over to Raph who scowled. The youngest left the two older siblings to dwindle in the tense air that slowly clouded around them. Raphael was too worried about Donatello to care about Leo right now. _Huh, that's a first, _he thought to himself humorously. However, he knew that his anger towards Leo was as clear as blue on sky. Leo had known his brothers and all the little quirks they would exhibit whenever heated or on the verge of completely going mad. Not only that but Raphael didn't do much to hide it.

Leonardo decided to poke at the beast, "Raph..listen-" Raphael made a small grunt a mix of between 'I don't want to hear it but I'm still reluctantly listening', "What I did- I..there really isn't an excuse for my behavior. I know. I was just-"

"Stupid? Heartless? Uncaring?" Raphael coldly interjected.

Leo sighed, "Yeah. Yes, I guess you can use those words against me. I deserve it."

Raphael didn't say anything because there was honestly nothing to say. He didn't want to forgive Leo so easily. Plus he wasn't the one Leo should be apologizing to. It was Donatello. He was the one that turned his back on his helpless brother when he needed him. Not him.

_Damn it, Donny, wake up or something.._

"Raphael.." Leo wanted his brother to say something. Anything. He wanted to be forgiven for his actions. His gaze went to Donny wondering if his brother was hearing any of this. Leo knelt by the bucket of water and grabbed the towels from Don's body to soak them again. Raphael turned to face Leo's back.

"You were scared."

Leo stopped what he was doing and was frozen at Raphael's words.

"No..I was terrified," Leo replied sadly as his shoulders dropped, "It was stupid of me to lash out to you-"

"I understand why you did," Raphael interrupted again.

"It's still no excuse. I'm suppose to be the strong one and it feels like Mikey was the one that filled in for me. It was a lot of carry but you two lifted the burden and I didn't bother to help."

Raphael tilt his head and shrugged, "Don't turn this into a Lifetime women show."

"Lifetime?"

"Ehhh..never mind," Raphael quickly defended, "I'm still ticked off at you but right now I rather focus on Don."

Leo silently agreed and let out a heavy exhale that he didn't know he was holding in. He squeezed the excess water from the towel in his hands and placed it on Donatello's neck. The water was cold now but Donatello didn't seem to notice which meant the purple turtle was knocked out or use to it. His body was still shivering but not as badly as before. Raphael grabbed the towel on Don's forehead and tossed it towards Leo. He rested his hand over Donny's head, moving it around to get an exact feel of his temperature without the coldness from the towel.

"He's still warm," Raphael uttered to Leo, "Not as bad though."

It was a small relief to the two turtles.

Xx

x

Michelangelo had returned with bowls balanced on his arms, shoulders and one perched on top of his head. Despite his entrance, Leo was impressed on how well Mikey was behaving. He handed Raphael's bowl then Leo's. He set his own on the ground away from the other two ad held Don's in his hands. It was warm, not too hot, just the way Don always liked his soup. Mikey poked and nudged for Donatello to wake up but the purple turtle couldn't find the strength to even lift himself up including his arms to hold the spoon. Mikey wasn't bothered by the fact that he had to feed Don himself. Leo helped Don sit upright, allowing Don to lean heavily against him as Mikey fed him.

Donatello had only finished half of his portion of soup when he began to drift off again. Mikey tried giving Don a few last bites but without any interest the soup merely (and disgustingly) spilled from the corners of Donny's mouth. After cleaning his brother, Leo set Don back on his shell into the cushions of the sofa. They ate their soup on the ground, next to Donatello's sleeping form and Mikey loudly whispering about his 'awesome' cooking skills.

Splinter appeared once the boys had all finished their meal. He checked in on Donatello and was a bit alarmed to hear of his sudden fever but also glad to hear of his recovery at the same time. He trusted his sons to make the right decision for Donatello. Leo was surprisingly quiet when Splinter had praised them for their quick thinking of the task of bring Donatello's temperature down. Usually the blue turtle would gloat a little, saying it was his idea of course, but he remained silent. Mikey was the one that informed their father that it had been Leonardo who had thought of it. Raphael gave Leo a small bump on the shoulder and a poorly hidden smirk.

Night time crept past them without much of a thought. Donatello had been sleeping but the light incoherent mumbles and trembles were apparent. Leo and Mikey let Raphael watch over the purple turtle while they ventured topside for patrol.

"We'll bring pizza," Leo said and winked towards Raphael. Mikey's eyes practically beamed with excitement.

"Woo! Let's go then!" Mikey jumped into a front flip before running off towards the broken tunnel tolls. Leo gave a wave of farewell to Raphael and gently patted Don's forehead. He disappeared after the orange turtle, Raphael could faintly hear Leo shouting at Michelangelo to slow down and wait.

Raphael felt a little upset for not tagging along but he knew that he rather stay with Donatello. He wasn't going to go anywhere till he knew Donny was okay. It was his responsibility. He was a little more hopeful now that he knew that Donatello's mind wasn't permanently damaged as they thought. He was scared that he might relapse somehow. He didn't care about the fact that he may never be able to remember simple math problems. He didn't care if his brother may not take apart a toaster or Mikey's game systems. He just wanted his brother. They needed him...Raphael needed him.

Raphael brought his own pillow from his room to sit on, his bum was getting sore from the hard ground, and Don's entire body took up the sofa. He switched on the television to watch a Monster truck rally that was happening somewhere in Chicago. He turned the volume down so that Donatello wouldn't wake from the noise but it was enough for Raphael to hear the sounds of the roaring engines and commentary.

Raphael brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them and rested his head against his knee. His eyes were narrowed as they stared at the television. He was tired he didn't deny it. However, he wanted to stay awake a little longer...well at least till the show was over...

"Ahh!" Raphael woke to a painful smack at the back of his head. He rubbed the back of his head and turned to glare at his brother. He narrowly missed Donatello's extended lanky arm hit him again when the young turtle turned on his side. Donatello was still asleep but his expression was tighten into a uncomfortable pang of pain and distress. He was shivering which was due to the blankets being misplaced on the ground from his internal battle of an unseen enemy. Raphael jumped up from the floor to cover him again but found that Donatello was now thrashing around madly as if he was trying to get away from something.

"Donny?" Raphael grabbed his shoulders and shook him. He was scared that Donatello might have another seizure and he was by himself. Donatello was breathing heavy, his eyes crinkled repeatedly and his arms desperately trying to reach for something. Raphael grabbed Don's hand and placed it safely on top of his plastron.

"Ra...Raph," Don called asthmatically

"I'm right here, bro," Raphael whispered to his sibling

"Raph...h-help..nnhhg...Raph"

Raphael scoped his arm underneath Donatello's head to raise him a little, "Donny, wake up," Raphael said to the younger turtle. Don felt the sudden change of his position and the warm arm around him. He slowly opened his eyes to see the rough plating of his brother's chest and recognized it.

"Raph," Don looked up at Raphael with glossy eyes. His breathing calmed, knowing that he was safe with his brother by him but the nightmare still wrapped around his memory.

"The..the van," Donatello muttered.

"It's okay, Donny," Raphael reassured, "You're safe now. I promise."

"Okay, stay here," Donatello let out a shaky exhale as he relaxed. He leaned into Raphael's plastron, nuzzling his face into the hard armor but still found it comforting. Raphael smiled, he lifted Donatello more so that he was sitting upright. Don lazily bared his teeth at Raphael for the action which only made the red turtle chuckle. Raphael sat himself on the sofa, bringing Don back into a laying position to rest his head on his thighs. He fixed the blankets once more and rubbed his finger over Don's cheek.

"Thank you," Donatello mumbled. His hand opened and reached for Raphael's weakly. The red turtle gently took Donatello's hand into his own and held on to. Donatello's eyes slowly dropped, his grasp was loosely but Raphael still held it. The younger sibling fell into a quite slumber that looked more peaceful this time. Soon enough Raphael could no longer deny his body yearn for rest and closed his eyes. Both their hands were still clasped together for closure to know that they remained.

Xx

x

_One Month Later_...

"The signal is moving! Go left."

"Right."

"What? I said left!"

"I know! I meant okay!"

Leo let out a frustrated growl through the headset knowing fully well that his other on the other end could hear it. To his right, Michelangelo giggled loudly despite their circumstances.

"Keep focused, Mikey, we don't know if there could be more Foot."

"Don't you mean _Feet?"_ Mikey joked with a large grin. If Leo wasn't so focused on finding Raphael he would have smacked Mikey upside his head. Instead he just ignored the orange clad turtle and listened carefully on Donatello's directions.

"He should be approximately twenty feet from your location."

"Right," Leo replied as he jumped across a large gap, landing on the roof of a local bank. Mikey landed less gracefully next to Leo as he attempted to do a hand stand while landing but ended up falling on his face.

"What?" Donatello roared through the head set, "I said keep going left!"

"Donny, stop yelling at me! I know!" Leo replied.

"Then why do you keep saying right!"

"Uh, Leo," Mikey yelled over the vocal banter to gain his older brother's attention below. Leo hurried towards the edge to view down towards a parking lot that was poorly illuminated by dull street lamps. Out from the shadow a lone body flew across into view then disappeared back into the shadows. Leo watched with caution as several more bodies scattered from an unknown force. The figure emerged with unstable balance and a battered appearance. The figure was none other than Raphael.

"I found him," Leo announced through the head set, "Come on," he beckoned for Mikey to follow as they readied themselves to assist their brother. Raphael looked drained and exhaustion was quickly settling in his muscles. Leo wasn't sure how long Raphael was fighting against the Foot ninjas but for the looks of the situation he seemed to be handling it well. There were several cuts and large bruises on his face and arms. Blood coated a deep cut on his left leg which explained his uncoordinated stance. His eyes still held a fiery desire to rage through the pain and fatigue but Leo knew his brother's body had a limit as did they all. Michelangelo leaped from the edge first, landing perfectly on his feet then into a barrel roll into the shadows. His piercing white eyes sliced through the darkness as they stalked towards the standing enemy from behind. Leo followed but went the opposite direction

"About time you guys got here!" Raphael shouted into the darkness. Leo sighed.

"You don't understand the element of surprise, do you?" Leo retorted as he grabbed his weapons from behind.

"I got it!" Mikey appeared into the light next to Raphael just in time before an enemy could even reach his brother.

The brothers engaged into battle with the remaining Foot ninja which only lasted 11 minutes exactly. Raphael knocked the last ninja into the ground with a hard kick to the head and exhaled loudly.

"Leo?" Donatello's voice sounded through the headset loud enough for everyone to hear.

"We found him," Leo said to the purple clad turtle through the set, "We're on our way."

"How is he?" Don asked.

Leo did a quick scan of Raphael, already noting the wounds and blood but his brother was hiding a great deal of most of it. Leo scowled towards the red turtle, "We might need that med-kit ready."

"What? I'm fine," Raphael responded with a lopsided grin.

Mikey twirled his nunchuks in his hand before setting them back on his belt. He quickly grabbed Raphael's arm and swung it over his shoulders to support his injured brother.

"I gotcha, broski!"

The three turtles slipped through the sewers quickly and back to the lair. Raphael had become silent and unstable on his own feet but Leo wasn't too worried minus the blood. They set Raphael on the sofa much to his displeasure and blindly fought against his brothers.

"Geeoffmeh!" he growled angrily at Mikey as he made an attempt to help him lift his injured leg.

"Raph, stop it," Leo barked, "We're trying to help, idiot."

"I don't need yer help," Raphael replied heatedly. He winced and trembled when he found that his legs was more painful than he had anticipated. He clutched his wound tightly trying to stop the flow of agony that surged through him. It only worsen and caused the wound to reopen and bleed.

"How bad is it?" Donatello asked. He slowly limped into the living room, a forearm crutch supported him in his right hand and his medical supplies in the left. Leo made a sharp step towards Don's direction but quickly caught himself. He knew how much Donatello hated to be helped with walking or even anything now that he thought about it. He understood that Donny was trying to do things himself despite his disability. However, it didn't stop Leo from worrying. Despite his efforts to cover the movement, Don gave Leo a glare in his direction.

"He's just acting like a dramatic baby," Mikey answered. Raphael gritted his teeth in front of the youngest sibling making Mikey duck and move away.

"It's just a cut, Don," Raphael snapped to the purple turtle, "Just- I'll clean it okay?"

"Nice try," Donatello stopped to place the box next to Raphael's body and unhinged it with a quick flick of his wrist. He couldn't deny it was difficult to do since his other arm was supporting his body upright with the crutch. He didn't need help. He knew what he was doing. Raphael smacked his hand on his face and moaned.

"Give me some damn rubbing alcohol, Don!"

"Shut up!" Donatello replied but it held no venom. He was concentrating on doing the simple task of applying pressure on Raphael wound.

"Don, at least sit down," Mikey placed his hand over Donatello's shoulder and pushed him down gently into a sitting position. Don felt his stomach drop, fearful that the orange turtle would surely drop him to the ground, but his bottom hit a solid object. It was a stool from the kitchen.

"Don't do that," Donatello bit back his anxiety, "Thanks."

He abandoned his crutch and used both of his hands to work on stopping the blood. Leo handed Don the disinfecting solution which he uncapped and poured without mercy. Raphael shouted in surprise and pain.

"That means it's working," Donatello grinned with satisfaction towards the red clad turtle. Raphael only made a loud hissing noise followed back random gibberish. Leo was sure he heard a curse word in there a few times towards Don. While Donatello was cleaning the wound, Leo was working on attaching a sting to needle to stitch his brother's leg.

"It ain't t-that ba-bad, guys," Raphael stuttered as he watched Leo make a small knot at the end of the string.

"Raph, don't complain," Don said without sympathy, "You should have known better than to go out by yourself."

"Yeah, hothead!" Mikey shouted with a childish glare towards his brother.

"Whatever! Don, you're doing this right?" Raphael asked with a hint of nervousness sounding through his tone.

"What's wrong with me stitching you up?" Leo asked feeling a little hurt.

"Ehh..Don? Donatello!"

Donny chuckled, closing his med-kit and grabbing his crutch. Raphael swallowed the lump in his throat, the gulp audibly to everyone's ears but was ignored. Once Donatello stood and left his spot, Mikey hopped on to the small stool and laughed.

"Do you guys think I do a bad job?" Leo asked.

"Huh? Oh, no," Donatello quickly defended.

"Get back here, Donatello!" Raphael cried out.

"Sure thing, Raph," Don replied halfheartedly, "Just let me put this back."

Raphael let out a frustrated growling sound but remained deflated on the sofa. As soon as he felt the pierce of the needle enter his skin he yelped and jerked up.

"Too deep!"

Michelangelo giggled uncontrollably as he watched Raphael's attempt to escape Leo's hold. The needle was already inside his leg and he immediately ceased any more movement till Leo was finished.

"Sorry," Leo muttered sincerely as he poked Raphael with needle but then quickly pulled it out to correct himself. Raphael felt his rage boiling over but held it inside reluctantly. Never..again..

"Okay," Leo carefully knotted the string at the end securely and snapped the extra string off. Raphael winced at the sudden tug but then relaxed. The stitching..he would give it a four out of ten. Donatello could have done it quick and a tad bit less painful. He would have to unleash his aggravation on the purple one. Leo wiped the blood remained around Raphael's wound before he had enough and pushed Leo's hand away.

"Thanks, Leo," he said, "That's enough."

"Sorry," Leo said with a small smile, "You know, Don is right, you shouldn't have gone-"

"Alright! Alright! I get it, I messed up, what else is new?"

"Just be more careful," Leo rolled his eyes at his brother before leaving his sibling to relax on the sofa. Michelangelo was quietly sitting on the ground in front of him with his eyes glued to the telly screen. His eyes were wide as plates as he watched an advertisement for the grand opening of a new theme park. Not wanting to hear Mikey's ramble of how they should some how go to the park at night, Raphael struggled back to his feet and left the living room.

His leg throbbed painfully but it wasn't as bad so he soldiered through it. It wouldn't hurt to ask Don for some painkillers though.

He climbed the second step that lead away from the main room and towards Donatello's room. He limped towards the door, peaking in to spot the turtle but only darkness was seen. The door was ajar therefore he didn't bother to knock. The prat left him in the care of Leo! How dare he.

"Donny," Raphael started trying to make himself sound annoyed and furious, "He poked three new wounds into me-"

He stopped and dropped his knees to the ground, his wound forgotten and his anger. He wrapped his arms around Donatello's shaking form that thrashed around violently on the floor. The seizure wasn't as strong which made Raphael believe that he was just now coming down from an episode. He cursed a few colorful words under his breath, anger at himself for allowing Don to be by himself during a seizure. Raphael tore the wrist strap of Donatello's crutch from his arm so that he could place him in his hold on top of Don's plastron. Donatello's body abruptly stopped moving but Raphael could feel his brother's body stiffen from the after pains. It was a common occurrence after his convulsions and would last only a few minutes. This time it was stronger. Don snapped his head back, applying pressure on Raphael's wound but he didn't think much about it. Veins popped out from the side of Donatello's neck and shoulders from the strain. Raphael could only hug his brother till he calmed.

It lasted three grueling minutes before Donatello's body finally became slack. His breathing was heavy and uneven. However, he was still conscious which was a plus in Raphael's book. He rubbed his head over the top of Donatello's head, coaxing him to settle and know he was safe.

"Raph?"

"Yeah? How did ya know it was me?" Raphael asked softly. He saw a small smile slowly etch on Don's face before it faded into a pain. He allowed the silence and continued to stroke his head lovingly till Donatello was strong enough to sit upright.

"Are you okay?" Raphael asked his brother, "Just rest a little, it was stronger this time."

"Really?" Donatello rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the ache with no effect. Raphael pulled Donatello closer towards him, embracing him from behind and noticed how weak Donatello was. His body was shaking and turning limp in Raphael's grasp. The episode took too much out of the purple turtle leaving him ill and tired.

"Wanna lay down?" Raphael asked his younger sibling. Surprisingly, Donatello nodded. Raphael broke his hold on his brother to stand. The wound on his leg throbbed, a friendly reminder or his condition but he ignored it again. It wasn't bleeding or anything. It was just being a pain in the ass. Raphael pushed the thought to the back of his mind and focused back to Donatello. He carefully lifted Donatello up, having his hands holding him up under his arms and back to him. Donatello tried his best to stand to ease the weight, he knew Raphael was still injured, but both of them buckled. He moaned in pain from his efforts.

"Relax," Raphael warned, "I got you."

"I..I'm sorry.."

The sudden sound of Donatello sniffling caught him off guard.

Raphael dragged Don's weak form to his bed and dropped him roughly onto the bed. Donatello grunted but was unfazed by Raphael's sudden rough handling.

"Sorry," Raphael apologized.

"Thanks.."

Donatello fell silent, viciously rubbing his eyes to hide the unwelcoming flow of tears. Raphael insistly noticed them. Donatello's mask was lightly dampened by them and the redness was also a big give away.

"Donny," Raphael said as he placed a finger over Donatello's eye to catch a tear before it could crash into his purple mask. Donatello couldn't hide it any longer and allowed himself to cry.

"I..I feel so u-useless," Donatello confessed shamefully, he hid his face in his hands as he tried to silence his sobs. Raphael frowned.

"Don't say that, Donny," he replied honestly.

"I am."

Raphael made a loud 'tsk', "You ain't useless, Don, look at me," he grabbed Donatello's hands away from his face and waited for the young turtle to open his eyes again. Donatello's eyes were red and puffy but his attention didn't dwindle on his older sibling.

"You are anything but," Raphael muttered. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against Donatello's. Donatello let out a sob, sniffling back his tears and emotions to gain back his composure. Raphael was patient for once in his life.

"If I could trade places with you," Raphael closed his eyes fighting back tears of his own, "I would do it in a heart beat."

"I wouldn't wish this on you," Donatello replied.

"I know," Raphael backed away from the purple clad turtle to smile, "But I would do anything to make you happy again."

"I am happy, Raph," Donatello returned the smile weakly, "I'm happy that after everything you still held on to me, that you didn't give up hope on me and I couldn't ask any more from you."

"Heh," Raphael nuzzled his face into Donatello's, "I love you, bro."

"I love you too, Raphael."

Raphael climbed along side Don's bedside, making himself comfortable and grabbed the blankets for the two of them. He placed his arms over Donatello's plastron, hugging him close so that their bodies mushed together. Donatello faced his brother, his eyes closed and his body remembering its fatigue from his illness. He quickly faded into a peaceful slumber.

_'You killed him, Raphael'_

Raphael frowned at the scar of memory craved forever into his brain. He looked at his brother with such sadness, wishing he could take his pain and suffering into his own. He closed his eyes, fighting back tears as he tighten his embrace around his little brother.

_' 'uuurrts..R-Raph..'_

_I know, buddy, I'm sorry but I can't do anything.'_

end.

_A/N: _Sorry that this took forever. I corrected a lot of punctuation and such. Thanks to everyone who reviewed again. I hope you enjoyed it to the end.


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